THANKS TO THE THREE GUYS AND SHERMAINE!

YAYYYYYYYYY MY WALLET IS NOT STOLEN IT'S JUST PICKED UP THANK YOU THE THREE VERY SHUAI GUYS THOUGH I HAVEN'T SAW YOU THREE BEFORE BUT THANK YOU VERY MUCHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST YAYYY!! AND THANKS TO SHERMAINE AND BENNY IF NOT CANNOT TRACE TO ME ALREADYYY! INCANS ROCKS YAYYY! THANKS LINFENG EDWIN AND GABRIEL THE THREE GUYS! :D:D:D:D!! I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID OKIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! :D:D:D:D!!

WARNING: HIGHLY VULGAR POST!

DELETED DUE TO INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE. :)) no more~ :))

SCHOOL!

finally back in school. hahahax. those who knows why i haven't been in school will know. yar. still the same. resisting the urge to do some other stuffs during lessons all the time. at least half my heart would be in the lesson. in the past i totally don't pay attention. so improve le ba! jiayou somemore!!

have been happy/sad these few days. HAHAHAX. weird combi of feelings lah. mixture mixture mix mix mix!! thanks ahmao for advising me ytd. :))))))))) cause of your metaphors i became much much happier!! :DD i will persevere yayyy thank you so much. but still let nature takes its course. hahahax.

life is boring. yours mine everyone's. thinking of whether to work part time at resort world sentosa. :// hmmm. i have no idea. casual or part time? i want to work as crew but it seems to be like there is only part time. :// but ronald and cheryl they all like working casual lehh. okies shall check with them againnn. i want to work leh. earn moneyyy. so i can buy ipod touch. and play my cooking mama. HAHAHAHAX!!

incans SBs SCs outing this sundayyyy! CYCLINGGGG!! COME ON PPL LET'S GOOO! i miss my incans. miss haien baobao, sihui aunty, aaron KORKOR (HAHAHAX!), sitiiiii, ronaldddd, kehkehhh, arnoldddd, bennyyyy, debbieee, michelleeee, mingxuannnn, and sooooo many otherssss!! T.T esp seeing so many of them todayyyyyy!! so me and sihui aunty did this outing!! HAHAHAX! YAYY LET'S GOO!!!

我喜欢你

我喜欢你，因为你和我一样，比起‘我爱你’，更喜欢说‘我喜欢你’。
我喜欢你，因为和你说话的时候，我会不由自主地装可爱。
我喜欢你，因为不管我有多不高兴，一看见你的脸，我的心情就马上变得好起来。
我喜欢你，因为你有一对像钻石一样闪烁迷人的眼睛。
我喜欢你，因为对我来说，你的笑容比彩虹更加美丽。
我喜欢你，因为跟你在一起，我的心总是甜甜的。
我喜欢你，因为我再怎么固执任性，你都不会讨厌我。
我喜欢你，因为你总是喜欢抓我的头，闻我头发的味道。
我喜欢你，因为你会时不时地摸我的嘴唇，说软软的很好摸。
我喜欢你，因为跟我斗嘴的你超可爱。
我喜欢你，因为每次我咬你鼻子的时候，你都会用力地咬回我的。
我喜欢你，因为你总是能够看穿我的心事。
我喜欢你，因为虽然你能让我觉得无比痛苦，却也能让我觉得无比幸福。
我喜欢你，因为我最最最最最最最最最喜欢你。

i no longer know what i want.

argh i am not studying i am not studying i am not studying. i just keep on watching tvvvvv. stop giving excuses to yourself. stop thinking about everything. just study just study just studyyyyy. why i can't get that in my stupid brainnnnn!?!?!? arghhhhh. concentrate pleaseeeee. :(((((((

i'm really starting to get used to it? :// i dunoe.. :// is this good or bad?






happy 4th month my dear. :)) take good care of your body and health okies! <33

我已经很幸福了!!

nowadays i seem to be suppressing my emotions. HAHAHAX! i don't know why either. am i starting to feel afraid to show people how i feel? so unlike me ah. i don't exactly have a best friend now i come to think of it. like what huiwen and i agreed i only have close and not very close friends. HAHAHAX! but still i love them all. :))

just started thinking somehow. age doesn't reflect maturity. what you go through does. :)) the response you made, the actions you did, the words you said. am i mature or am i not? i am definitely NOT childish, though sometimes i may act childish? or is it just the way i talk and behave? at least the way i think and feel is NOT.

i keep thinking that i am not strong enough somehow. or is it that i am letting myself go? or am i stronger than i truly think i am? i am STILL strong. :)) though i might cry a little too often or easily, though i might be a little too timid, though i might have too little strength, i know i am strong enough to withstand all these. :)) friends around give me much strength too. :)) i just hope that no one misunderstands because no one is at fault. everything will pass very soon, i believe so. :)) 我可是一个非常幸福的女孩哦!

whatever happens, i will still be here for you if you ever need someone.

I HAVE STUDIED FOR AWHILE IN THE MORNING! so proud of myself! :DD unable to do the ATRM tutorial cause i don't have the textbook. T.T now i shall go and study more. shld i bathe before that? ://

I NEED TO STUDYYYY!

worked the past two daysssss. colleagues (other than us) weren't much but they were niceeee. one even made me the local visitor pass which of course is not allowed. HAHAHAX! at least those that i made friends with were nice lahhh. :DD legs almost breaking everyday. but on the last day, surprisingly, they weren't that pain, and since i was standing quite alone at one corner for the last two days, i was thinking and thinking and thinking about life. :)) jiayou ba jiale!

nothing special on thursday so jump to friday. :)) went home after work and went to meet jojo and von. von was late AS USUAL ah. HAHAHAX! went to chin's hse for SCO bbq. :)))) celebrated leon's birthday toooooo which was on thursday. :)) sorry ahxiang didn't go for your birthday celebration whose birthday ALSO falls on thursday. and i forgot both their birthday. HAHAHAX! paisehhhhh! i wasn't looking at the date nor counting the day. :(( buttttttt..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WEI XIANG AHXIANGGGG!! :DDDD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LEON JIEJIE!! :DDDD

though now is actually belated lahh but nvm. :PP told jo and von and ep. :)) love themmm! and ENPING DEAR MADE LEMONADE YAYYYY!! :DD everyone loves his lemonade and it sold out very fast. :(( me and von missed it like siaooo! ever since BAmazing! HAHAHAX! in the end cabbed home with jo and bee! :)) midnight charge. T.T but stilllll i reached home safely! :))

okies i REALLY need to get my tutorials done and lectures readddd!! I STILL HAVE A PACT TO FULFIL!










stella, thanks for saying those 'nice girl and nice boy so...' kind of stuffs. it really made my day. though i cried too. :)) stella, you said i can do it, i believe so can you. it just takes time. :)) i'm going to persevere on, so aren't you? like you said, you still have us. :)) we are going to be with you until that time comes. i know you understand how i feel. thanks stella. i love you!









每天看见你那么辛苦，我也觉得有点心疼。虽然我知道你努力的原因，但是我希望你不会把自己逼得太紧，否则你日后怎么办？长期以来，你身心都会没有办法承受的。希望你能记得，读书和工作固然重要，但是拥有健康的体魄仍然是最最最最最最最重要的。不管怎样，我都会在背后为你加油。:))

TIRED.

worked these two days. TIRED TTM. feet hurts like hell. read the notes of the lessons i ponned these two days. argh. i don't understand. :(( i shld spend more time on it. ARGH. try and do CEM tutorial baaaaaaaaaaa. :(( need to download the projs briefing already. but i feel so tired. ARGH. jiayou jiale. :))




hello you. i miss you. hahax. kind of dumb. :// i'm afraid and scared, probably one of those moodswings again. :)) it'll be alright i know. :)) thanks. loving you till then. :))

VERMONSTER!!

went to school with huiwen dear and i really listened hard during lecture!! nxt time must sit nearer already, cause smhow i cannot really hear ah, which means nxt week! cause this week need to faster work and clock in my 40hours for CEM module. ARGH. skipping lessons. abit sian. :// first lessons of the modules smmore. must read up on the lectures on my own alreadyyyy. :((

went to town with polyester and had a light lunch at 313 and headed to orchard central B&J's. their service attitude really not good. :(( and i saw the person climbing onto the counter barefooted. -_- im not the only person who saw okies. the rest also saw. i understand that your cabinets are above but dun climb on the counter barefooted. and the way they respond to us is really rude. ://

BUUUUUUUUUUT when the vermonster is done and we started eating, all the bad mood went awayyyyyyyyyyy~ :DD sorry for being in a sian mood the whole day ah. cause i was really tired.  pictures with ade and cher and they will probably post on their blogs so read their blogs if you want pics! walked around to buy shoes and wanted to find black blouse with cher but cant find. :(( so in the end just borrow ba. think i borrow from ahyiii. T.T like so bad ah.

trained to marina bay with hyrah and clara to get seats and we slept all the way back to our stops. hahahax! those adults didn't let me pass when i said excuse me and in the end i missed my stop. T.T next time i will use an angmoh slang and say PARDON ME to scare them. HAHAHAX!! if they still stay there like wad clara say, i will just shout SIAM LAHH! WAHAHAHAHAX!! like a bad. :PP okies i need to go read up on tml's work stuffs. :(( BYEBYE!

i know.

i know everyone cares. but who truly knows how i feel? truly knows how he feels? truly knows how we feel? i think only guowei knows. it's not cause i don't treat you as a good friend, it's just cause guowei happens to be both our good friend. i really appreciate if you stop asking and wait for me to tell you. cause if i don't tell you, it means i am really not ready yet. :(( thanks for not probing.

i promise to be the happiest girl on earth!

YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! happiest boy on earth! :DD

met up with someone really impt to me. :)) though it was sad and unbearable, but i am really happyyyyyyyyyy!! *smiles brightly* it will all turn out alright eventually, no matter how long it takes. :)) i know. jiayou tgthr!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

i am glad my papa support my your our decision and find it a wise one. :)) he supported my that particular decision too. :)) it's going to pass real soon! :)) counting down! :))

the forked path.

Their paths crossed, and they journeyed together for awhile. Eventually the path forked into two ways, and they decided to go separate ways. Though they don't know for sure, they strongly believe that the two paths will meet in the end, and life just wants them to experience different things, so that they could share all these things when they meet again. She will be travelling alone, but she knows that he will be accompanying her on the other route, hearts linked, till they reunite once again.

S.H.E CONCERT!!!

hopped on the train where both clara and hyrah are on and we went to singapore expo tgthr! tried out the new circle mrt line tooooooooo!! :))) quite nice ah. and the train was longer than i remembered!! met the rest at expo and we went for the job training tgthr. learnt more about our jobscope and it's erm like just ushering visitors of the event to the queues to register themselves. i don't know what to write for our report. hahax! maybe can crap up something ah. we shall see. :))


went off to meet ahyi's friend, liping with her at cityhall and we went to eat dinner tgthr. :)) liping very funny! went to the new stadium stn and met her other two friends wenxi and huizhen. :)) went into the indoor stadium where S.H.E IS HAVING THEIR CONCERT AND WEEHEE!! it's the very first concert i went to okies! :DDDDDDDDDD!! LIKE A NICE!! :DD THEY DAMN CUTE AND PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! :)) i like. just lazy to describe now heh heh. you can ask me personally if you want to know. :DD at the other side mayday is having their outdoor concert but it's raininggggg! hahahax. so i prefer singing with S.H.E for that many hours and watching them dance and hearing them chitchat like a so cute. :)) thanks papa for sending me home afterthat! :DD


there's a song for you which i heard in the concert, my dear. :)) titled: 最近还好吗

the start of the wait.

She went out with her friends, telling herself to be happier and cheer up, but he was at the back of her mind all along. She couldn't remove his face from her mind. She went to a concert and screamed and cheered, but she seemed to be venting her misery rather than screaming for joy. A song came up, which reminded her badly of him, tears came to her eyes and she tried to blink them away, while cheering, screaming and applauding loudly. Later in the night, her dad asked her about her dreams, and he was the first thing that came to her mind. Tears streamed down unwillingly and she turned away from her dad, not willing to let him see her tears. Her dad reminded her that she wanted a real house with stairs when she was young. That was her dream. But what her dad didn't know was that she wanted a real house with stairs with everyone she love living with her in it. It was the big home she wanted, not just a big house. But she had many dreams when she was young. She had wanted to be a teacher and singer and all other possible types of dreams. The very last one she really wanted was to be a good wife and mum. It might sound like a joke to others, but she took it seriously. She thought of the next day, when she would exchange 5 hours for 4 years, and smiled, 'I am strong enough,' repeating this line over and over again to herself, not knowing whether it is true or not.

the silent pact.

He let her go, thinking that it's for her sake, deciding to love her silently instead. He would work and study hard for her, for the possible future together if there is still a chance. She accepted his decision, knowing all his reasons even though he kept them from her, because she love him. Their conversation online seemed happy, but the faces facing the monitors were wet. She silently made a pact in her heart, 'I will wait, no matter 1 year or longer, because it would be a short price to pay for happily ever after,' before sealing the one-sided pact with the crossing of her heart. 'I love you,' both of them mumbled to themselves at their own homes while thinking of each other as they struggled to smile with tears in their eyes, 'because I truly love you.'

:))

you are not the one who need the time, i am. guowei said this is what you thought. and yes, you are right. i thought a lot. i don't know if what i thought is enough or not. i have been too stubborn. unwilling to understand though i actually do. i am the one who need to change.

guowei called me almost immediately after you sent him the msg. thanks. cause it told me that you still care nevertheless. i am afraid. afraid of what would happen after this period. you might stop wanting to be with me anymore. guowei said you won't. but still i don't know for sure. but what's meant to be is meant to be right? :)) i will make full use of this period. :))

thanks guowei for chatting with me too. i will find out what i truly want and what i need to do. 

SOCIETY OUTINGS!

practically went out with society ppl EVERYDAY. :)) but i like. HEH HEH!

---

TUESDAY 13 APRIL 2010

went to bpp macs to meet stella guowei and jaslin. :)) had our lunch and bused down to old ford factory to seee seeee. :DD took lots of pictures but i am lazy to upload weehee. and i started hating japanese and british in the process of viewing those historical stuffs. went to play on this big snake and ladder mat outside the factory. HAHAHAX! like a fun. :DD

leonard came to pick me up in his car with leon benson and shannon after that and we went to ottomans chalet~ ate and played. like a crazy. :DD but quite paiseh lohh. shld have wore ottomans shirt instead of celts so i won't feel so outcasted. hahahax! many things happened but in the end went to west coast this roti prata place to eat supper until the middle of the night and leonard sent me home. thank you!! :DD

---

WEDNESDAY 14 APRIL 2010

met jojo at khatib mrt stn and went to cityhall mrt stn to wait for von. like a damn slow ah she. T.T went to marina barrage to meet the rest and ate there. watched as they try to fly the kites. HAHAX! me and von took a WHOLE lot of pictures with jo's new cam. :DD like a nice. 700++ pictures and i think half of them are me and von's. HAHAX!

went down to the water playground place to play abit. hohoho! and took jump shots weehee. lots of retarded ones! :DD went back up to the picnic place and packed up and went to lao pa sat to have our dinner. :)) went off to hougang near benson and benjamin's place to chitchat until the middle of the night (go home so late again. T.T) and cabbed home with jo and ahbee. :))

---

THURSDAY 15 APRIL 2010

met jojo at the busstop downstairs and we bused to vivo to meet the rest and went to sentosa tgthr~ me and leon scouted around for asco. found a girl not bad ah. :)) heh heh. sat there and played all kinds of games till we got bored and sian and went back to vivo. paid $3 to feel bored. T.T didn't went to find my incans cause they were so FARRRRRRRRR AWAY and i didn't know where they were in the first place until i passed by them in the tram. -_-

went to LJS to eat and saw my incans! ran out to play with them for awhile and chitchats with my beloved aunty sihui! HAHAHAX!! wahh hai en baobao cut hair le ah! but i like your new hairstyle! :))))) after that went back to LJS and went to tampines mall pastamania to have our dinner. smhow there are a lot of dinners eaten. heh heh.

cabbed down to vikings chalet which is at a freaking freaking ulu place near old changi hospital OHMYTIAN and leon keeps scaring me and i keep screaming while we were walking out after staying for a short while cause we really don't know what to do there and it's getting late. bused back to tampines with jo chin rach and ep and bused home with jo. :)) chitchats and gossips are nice you knowwwwww. :))

---

passed by somewhere which belonged to a memory of my past. i stared at it. :)) blurred memories tried to float up, but somehow i can't really rmb anymore, except for some bits and pieces. i had tried so hard to engrave this memories in my heart in the past, but somehow they faded. :)) there are some things which i know i can never forget, but at least most of them are forgotten. :)) goodbye! :DD

---

:)) i won't think too much anymore my dear. as long as we love each other that's enough right?! :)) thanks jo and von and huiwen who listened. :)) love you all! and von dear! i am happy that you tried to let go okies. :)) i support you

i love you! <33!!

the little girl.

'One year is all you have to wait,' the little girl told herself. Inside her, her heart throbbed painfully. She soothed herself, rocking back and forth while hugging her legs. She smiled even though there was no one to watch, but the twitch at the corner of her lips did not hide the agony that gave her much difficulty to even breathe. Tears formed in her eyes and streamed down as she struggled to raise the corner of her lips. 'It's okay!' she continued comforting herself, 'I will live.' She resisted the urge of pinching herself as if the physical pain would numb the emotional one and mumbled, 'You know it's of no use. There are people out there who are in much worse situations than you. You know that.' All the rational words and phrases were thrown to her heart by her brain, but all she ever wanted was that happiness she had felt before. At that moment, all she wanted to do was to rant and wail and vent everything out as she bawl her eyes out like a baby. But she had been through rougher patches, thus, even though she thought she would finally be happy and could let down her guard, she knew she had to stay strong in order to not hurt those who love her and whom she love dearly. 'I will wait and be truly happy once more,' she told herself as she settled in bed, clutching her bolster as tears wet her pillow. 'I miss you,' she added as her eyelids fluttered, and she slowly fell into the dreams which consisted of memories of their past.

BIRTHDAYS!

SUNDAY 11 APRIL 2010

:)))))))))))) slacked at home in the afternn and went off to ten mile junction shengshiong to meet ahbe and sean. bought the foodstuffs for steamboat AND OFF WE WENT to ts's hse for steamboat. WAHAHAHAX! i am the most useless girl there cause i practically dunoe anything HAHAHAX!

enjoyed alot ah. :DDD chitchats and everything. ate until DAMN FULL. satisfying! :DD WEEHEE! helped or rather supervise ts wash bowl while the rest were in his room. damn crowded loh. lucky i din go in. hot like crazy. HAHAHAX! cause of the amount of ppl in the room plus closed door. PRESENTS TIME! :)) thanks for the wallet ahhhhhhhhhh!! dun worry about me not liking croc skin wallet. HAHAX! :DD

---

MONDAY 12 APRIL 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! :DD

went to school in the morning and passed rach her ezlink card at 72 IT helpdesk and went over to 46 IT helpdesk cause i had an appointment. in the end my laptop miraculously got connected to NPNet when for the past two months, no matter wad i did, it just wouldn't get connected. -_- and it was damn embarrassing. imagine going there and telling the person that the internet connection is faulty and once you switched on your laptop it is already connected. -_- hope this connection lasts. :DD

dear ep came to find me YAY! :DD thanks lemonade! but the moment he reached there i was done. HAHAHAX! then we went to find rach and went down to 0312 tgthr. :DD waited for keh, lynn and peiqin and we went to society room. I KOPED LIKE ALOT OF SHIRTS WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :DD like a happy onlyyyyyy! :DD

went off to novena to meet mummy and went to see the doc for my nose. like an irritating. -_- went to eat after that and came back home. slacked and went downstairs to meet DEAR myrna lam and jervis quak for my presents! YAYYY!! :DD thanks guys! LOVE YOU ALL LOTS! chitchats HOHO i love! :DD

---

promises broken a million times. heart shattered a million times. tears shed a million times. it's time to grow up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STELLA SOH HUI WEN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAX!!
I LOVE YOU LOADS WEEHEE!
AND THE WORDS ARE GREEN LIKE YOUR FAVE COLOUR LAHHHH! HAHAHAHAX!

MILKKKKTEAAAAA!!

NO PICTURES CAUSE THEY ARE ALLL IN FB! WEEHEE HOHO!! :DDDDD just blogging about wad happened ytd. had a very very impromptu dinner date with jo, yoke, peiqin, leon and shannon!! HAHAHAX!! :DDDD

met jo at the busstop downstairs and we bused tgthr to bugis to meet the rest. THANKS JO FOR THE PRESENTTTT!! :DDDDD lazy take photo of the watch but thank youuuu. i will start wearing watch cause of youuu. HAHAHAX!! happy horhhhhhh!! :DDDD laughed loads on the bus. :DD!

met shannon, peiqin and yoke and we went to queue up at the restaurant placeeee. leon came and we went in to sit and ordered our stuffs and HERE COMES THE BIG MILKTEAAAAA!! like a ohmytiannnnnnn!!

ate finish our stuffs and started finishing the milktea. we had to stand up to drink. other than the very talllll leon whose butt dun have to leave the seat. fooled around with the BIG milktea and just keep playing. laugh plus eat and drink until damn tired. stomach damn pain. HAHAHAX! FINALLY finished the milkteaaaa and we played around with the BIG cup/tub. HAHAHAX! like a funnyyyyy.

laughed like crazy and mad and we walked to esplanade to digest the milktea which filled our stomachs. originally wanted to take photos there. but loads of people. so we walked to the merlion and sat there and chitchats. laughed loads. left at like 11plus and bused back home with jo. :DD had GREAT FUN with them. LOVES! :DD

okies just one tiny picture of US! WAHAHAHAX!

YAY HEY BIGGGG MILKTEA! ^^

EVERYONE ROCKS!

:DD haven blogged in quite a long while. HOHO! so shall come here and update on my VERY EXCITING life. HOHO!! :DDDD

---

on SATURDAY 03 APRIL 2010, i went to orchard to meet keh and we went to get materials for baoc and went back to school to make them. tired tired. LOVE keh. :DD abit forget wad happened but at night went to vivo with keh and enping lemonade cause keh wanted to get loudhailers. enping treat cab leh! YAY HEY! went to carl's junior to eat dinner. it was like 9plus. T.T poor us. was damn tired lah. imagine me asking enping 'i cover your eyes then you cannot see liao ah?' -_- spastic question when you are tired. keh laughed like crazy then. T.T

---

on SUNDAY 04 APRIL 2010, woke up late cause was too tired and started preparing my bag to begin my camp in school.. reached school quite late cause papa lahhh! i wanted to go bathe when he went into the room to smoke.. -_- had to wait for the smoke to dissipate before i bathe and i was like quite late. but still considered early already! HAHAX! nua-ed here and there chitchats here and there and we went to eat! al-azhar. dunoe how to spell. hahax. nxt time i want go al-ameen eat leh. nv eat there before leh. though i suaku lah. HAHAX! stayed over in school and didn't slp the whole night. practiced dance until 5am and so stayed up. scared i cant wake up in the morning. hahax! spent the night chitchatting with the rest. :))

---

on MONDAY 05 APRIL 2010, woke up and prepared awhile before our SCs came. i think mingxuan was the earliest. saw me at my chui-est. HAHAHAX! the rest came and we briefed them and everything. :DD actually cant really rmb wad happened. but still with them confirm GREAT! :DD had full dress rehearsal too. :)) slept late again ba. since i slept late every night since sunday. HAHAX!

---

on TUESDAY 06 APRIL 2010, BAOC DAY 1!! stayed at our booth for the registration stuffs. then went around with different subgroups throughout the whole day. :)) met our performers! showed them the performance and tried to teach them :DD freshies are so very cute. :)) and this year's freshies alot of good looking ones!! no matter guys or girls. HAHAHAX!! ^^ my eyes benefited alot. :PP!!

---

on WEDNESDAY 07 APRIL 2010, BAOC DAY 2!! :)) this time ahmao came!! :DD his off day! :DD so happy. but he abit dumb ah. come on 2nd day to sai gang nia. HAHAX! went to help at the stations. got por-ed MANY MANY TIMES. cause they want more marks ma. hahahax. damn funny. but they very cute lah. :DD love it the most when they surround me and cheer. HAHAHAX! though damn loud i feel damn trapped. HAHAX! then weihan lohhh!! damn cunning ah! pian wo then made me kena trapped by one of his celts group and they cheered. scared me half to death. HAHAX!! then my dear freshies practiced the dances. know they very xinku ah. T.T swtiched on my laptop after clara huiwen ahyi they all left and found out that they did the wallpaper. HAHAX! msged them to thank them. like a sweet. :)) at night went off for our full dress rehearsal until over midnight. T.T my birthday..

---

on THURSDAY 08 APRIL 2010, BAOC DAY 3, which is also my birthday like a yay!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON SEAN!!!! AND ALSO JONGHYUN FROM SHINEE!!! :DD

woke up early for our performance dry run and some last minute practice for our freshies. :)) xin ku them le! went off to CC for all the performances and everything. was slping during the mascot thingy lah. the games abit boring. hahahax! :PP went to have some last minute practice for our dance and went to perform. i think the SCOs DID GREAT i love them to bits. :DD like a happppppppppyyyyyy.

then they showed the video for baoc. wahh looking at the pictures felt so sad and started crying. i love ba society. :')) and enping was sitting beside me okies jo! i rmb asking him if the two special person the emcees were talking about me and yoke when you guys appeared and he disappeared. then they started showing the birthday video and i cried more. though they were like saying happy birthday to rudolph the red nosed reindeer instead of me. HAHAHAX!

went up to the stage crying. like a diu lian. and yupx i felt abit sad when at the start noone wished me happy birthday until i found out keh was the mastermind. HAHAX! all said they have to ren and dun wish me happy birthday. HAHAX! thanks ppl. I LOVE YOU ALL! :DD and thanks enping who sang me a happy birthday song earlier in the day. :DD thanks everyone who wished me thanks my SCOs. :DD i love all of you. :)) went backstage to cut the cake and gave everyone one piece. :DD and i want the birthday video leh. how do i get it ah? :// took lots of pictures near the lobby and got my presents AND YES I LOVE THEM ALOT! :DD thanks to my polyester. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD like a happy!

went back to class and my dear SCs and SBs danced cheng yao for me. :DD loves! i love watching kehkeh and my hai en bao bao dance. keh dance very cute one. i dunoe how to explain but just find it cute. and haien baobao dance until damn spas so damn funny. :DD!! started cleaning up and our room was the cleanest and the envy of everyone cause everyone had SO MUCH to clean and ours are just throwing the rubbish and arranging the tables and chairs. HAHAHAX! bi came up to the room to help us sweep the floor HAHAHAX! like a nice. and he was asking me whether i want to go xinwang hong kong eat so he just asked 'go hongkong can?' and keh just stared at him shocked. HAHAHAX! damn cute damn funny.

cabbed to cine. cause we were running late. sorry bi. :(( made you waste money ah. went to xinwang hong kong to eat with him, guowei, stella, yingjie and tianshun. :DD eat and eat and chitchats just like before. miss them so much. like so long nv talk to them.. T.T then they prepared the cake for me. :DD sang the birthday song damn loud smmore. like a paiseh. HAHAX! then bi gave me his present for me. :)) din show my happiness not cause i was not happy but cause i was too surprised. hahax!

went off to watch movie. at first still lie to me lohhh!! say is horror movie and i am to sit in front alone. make me damn scared. then i keep ask bi to sit in front cause i dun want sit alone but he dun care me smmore. T.T in the end is not. HAHAX! and i like dun even know wad show we watching until the movie started. date night! very nice. :)) i like! but i damn slpy. hahahax. bi sent me home in cab after that cause i was too tired and really sent me INTO my home cause i had so many things to carry and he had to like pull me up to go bathe when i was climbing on to my sofa to slp. T.T then he went home. thanks my dears for coming out to celebrate with me. :))

---

today FRIDAY 09 APRIL 2010 i woke up at 3plus close to 4pm. T.T woke up by a phone call smmore. NP computer centre called. HAHAX! cause i missed my appointment which was at 1pm. T.T apologised but the lady was very nice. :)) changed it to nxt monday instead. :))

and more imptly,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR VERY CUTE YOKE AND SITI!! :DD!!

and i just realised the both of them who are born today are very small in size. HAHAX! cute lehhhhhhh! i like. hahahax. din go bball. too tired. i still nua-ing on sofa. hahax. headache already. i think i'm going to fall sick. heh heh. :)) though this time didn't really get to know much freshies but i'm happy already. :))

---

PICTURES TIMEEEEEE!!

random pictures taken LONG AGO when i was waiting for my passport first!!

SO VERY PINK! HAHAX! ohh this reminds me! i want to buy a new handphone strap! :DD

buy 4D buy 4D!!

when i was like in primary school around 7 or 8 years old and when i was in sec 1. HAHAX!

now for photos taken during baoc. :DD

the very nice sunrise taken on sunday night/monday morning when we stayed up. :))

jojo!

benjamin!

weihan!

weihan alan and yoke with her face covered!ju behind yoke. hahax!

feet!!

pictures taken on the 2nd day of baoc when we were all practicing the performance!

my haien baobao and me!! i am haien mama! HAHAHAX! and i started calling haien baobao cause of spongebob. spongebob is 海绵宝宝 in chinese ma! HAHAX! loves to see him dance. DAMN CUTE cause DAMN SPASTIC! HAHAX!

me and my aunty sihui! though she calls me aunty jiale but don't care. HAHAX!

me and peiyi with her bread!! :DD

serene the blur girl and me! :DD and this is the last picture i have of baoc cause i keep forgetting to take out my camera or i am just plain lazy. HAHAX!

pictures of my presents. :))

the wallet bi gave me. HAHAX! lucky not too croc skin type ah. dun like those. :DD i already start using liao horh. proud ma!? :DD

the board my dear polyester made for me. :)) LOVE THEM TO BITS though there were LOTS of unglam pics and i had to carry around cineleisure where me and my bsfl celebrated and it's damn diu lian. T.T make me regret taking those ugly pictures lahhhhhhh! T.T

the very cute fake rainbow cake they made for me cause i said i dun want a real cake. HAHAX! LOVE THEM!

the polaroid camera my polyester gave it to me OHMYTIAN! at first i still keep thinking wad present they have for me when clara my love kept saying that she's very excited but cannot tell me wad present. HAHAX! and the warranty i cannot send out unless i have the receipt! HAHAX! you all help me send loh!

the toblerone share i got from the BIG present our ingenious incans got after splitting it up in between us and the freshies. HAHAX!

the toblerone guohao gave me for my birthday. i am his 1st wife horh! HAHAX! din expect him to know. :DD THANKS GUOHAO 'husband'!! :DDD

the different pieces of paper containing birthday wishes from everyone in ingenious incans! :DD they all write and say i very hyper and high. HAHAX! :DD and the photos that keh printed and cut. :DDDD!! and smthing i don't understand is some pics i don't even know when she took them and i just feel puzzled when she found the time to print the photos and even cut them when most of the time the both of us were tgthr. HAHAX!

MY VERY VERY VERY BELOVED KEH and me. <33 LOVE HER.

MY SCOS!! with the rest in iDARE camp that time. :))

WALLPAPER!

SAY HELLO TO MY NEWEST WALLPAPER! I LOVE MY GIRLS! ^^

MY BACK HURTS.

woke up at 1pm today when i'm supposed to meet keh in school at 2pm. T.T but she woke up even later so nvm already. HAHAHAX! reached school and continued our props making. we still need to think of our cheers ah. i only thought of one. heh heh. we ordered kfc delivery too. :DD but really pok liao. T.T

ohhhh forgot to mention ytd THANKS JOJO FOR THE DINNER TREAT!! ^^ my back really hurts today. T.T i keep feel like cracking my spine. and for a moment today i sdnly feel like my back is going soft and i almost couldn't stand straight. T.T cham already. tml need to go back to school. :// and stayover will start on sunday. haven't ask papa yet. :// jiejie ah, if you seeing this, maybe i can't go for the church party already.. :// need to check wad time exactly are we meeting on sunday. still need to have dance practice.. T.T jiayou ba!

HOPE BAOC WILL BE A SUCCESS! ^^ can't wait to see those blur and cute and lost freshies. :))

I AM SO LOVING INGENIOUS INCANS!

had SC meeting as usual today. did our full dress rehearsal. was very good already considering that this is our VERY FIRST rehearsal at CC which has a much bigger stage compared to our very small classroom. :)) i'm loving ingenious incans more and more with the people inside. like another small family. :)) and they always make me laugh like crazy. :))

and ohmytian haien dance until really funny and cute. HAHAHAX! hope sihui auntie faster post the video of him dancing. HAHAHAX!! DAMN CUTE LOH! and she also took videos of me trying out my SCO performance. T.T bully leh! benny also tried to be funny by making fake boobs and dancing and act gay with haien. HAHAHAX!

used to think that it is a chore, but today i just sdnly realised that these people has always been this lovable, and i really enjoyed a lot of fun times with them. :)) called my freshies too. think this is the reason why i'm sdnly anticipating BAOC. cause previously i have been blindly doing BAOC which always seemed very far away. and when i called the freshies informing them wad to do, BAOC sdnly just feels very real and it is coming real soon. :)) hope it will be successful with my very lovable SBs, SCs and freshies!! :DD

and my freshies very cute loh. sms me say nice to meet me when he hasn't even really met me before. then got one cuter lohhh!! started chitchatting with me and digressing. when i haven't even finish telling him the information for BAOC. HAHAHAX! DAMN CUTE! then he keeps thinking i'm his friend cause it's april fools' day. HAHAHAX! says that i sound like his friend and he even went to check the NP letter sent to them which has my number lah. laughed like crazy. and plus the rest. ask this ask that. AHHH so cute lahhh!! small kids. HAHAX!

sdnly i feel happier in life. i love my life. you are jealous of my life. AWWWW! :PPPPP!!

am i?

am i expecting a lot from you?

am i the one you love the most?

am i the selfish one?

am i the not understanding one?

i am not comparing. somehow i want you to answer me the answers which i want. even if they are not the truth. maybe i just want to delude myself. whenever we can't finish a conver, you would say continue the next time, but we would never continue it. did you realise it? smtimes i write these posts on my blog is to hope that you will see it and have some response, but somehow you never did. i know you read all these, but why the nonchalant? do you know how xin ku i feel now? do you know the pain that i feel? do you know the hurt that i feel? can you answer me? can you answer me? can you answer me? can you answer me? did you realise there is so many so many so many questions? i need answers, so badly, that you can never imagine. i need you here with me, but you are not. i believe that you really love me. i am not supposed to think too much. am i really that weak? somehow i think you need to give me more credit than you think i deserve. i may cry often, my tears may drop easily, but that does not necessarily mean that i am weak. i just act weaker than i really am. i have been through so much. i can actually stand strong. but sometimes i just need someone to rely on. do you understand? if i can't rely on you, then when i start relying on others and start to not need you, whose fault would this be? actually i cry cause i want to cry. crying makes me feel better cause i vent out all my unhappiness. it doesn't mean that i am horribly miserable or smthing. at least not so exaggerated. and seriously i am NOT that weak. -_- it's just that in your eyes i am this little girl who never grows. give me more credit thank you very much. and btw if i am weak, it's also ONLY cause of you. :// if not, i don't really love you already, understand ma? i tend to get emotional and complain about all sorts of thing. but seriously, i don't expect you to solve anything for me, cause ultimately, i solve them myself independently. unless i asked you to help with the choices of what food to eat. i just need to increase the level of my EQ. -_- IQ high enough already. HEH HEH! but i know that i am already very xing fu. :)) just let me rant abit nowadays. overstressed from BAOC. cause no matter how sad and emotional and negative i am, i will always find a way to think positively and optimistically in the end. :)) so, don't worry too much about me thank you very much. :))

when you see this, i really hope you will give me an answer of some sort.