recently, my mind is in a mess.

or it might have been so for some time.

i have been waiting, for some kind of miracle to happen, for some kind of something to happen and tell me that whatever happened didn't happen.

i am not very good at accepting things as it is.

i am only good at leaving everything behind.

there is a very muddled line between i want to and i should.

because i don't know anymore, if 'i want to' and 'i should' is the same at all.

i don't even know if i am happy anymore.

what i know is i flare up a lot more now lol.

and my patience is dwindling.

they say love is supposed to be nourishing and helps you to grow.

but what if it is not anymore?

this is the question i seek to answer, and i might be throwing myself into the depths of fire by doing so....

okay, goodnight.