i wish everyone would be miserable like me and mourn for you.
i am a mean freak.
i hate all the festive decorations and songs.
i wish you would come back.
i wish that with all my might.
i kept telling tay this wish, but he never answers me.
i know he didn't want to tell me that it wouldn't happen and pop my bubble.
i know people will call me stupid, and say that it's impossible.
but, just let me dream and wish.
they say if you put all your belief in it, anything you want will happen.
i'm near desperation.
and i don't feel like going on with my own life.
perhaps i'm just feeling guilty and i wanna give this part of my life to him.
these past two weeks, i have been swallowing my tears down even though most of the times i fail.
and i guess i know why i always seem like a younger sister at home to my friends after flipping through our photos.
thank you for caring for me so much in your own subtle ways but i notice, you know.


i have decided, for my supposedly memorable 21st birthday this year, i'm gonna spend the first part of it with you, my dearest brother.
i love you so much.