why do i feel so fucking sad these few days?
fucking pissed at myself for feeling so fucking sad.
fuck fuck fuck fuck.
i am a very vulgar person in reality LOL.
okay FUCKK THIS SHITTT.
fucking hell.
i am damn pissed now.
fuck you and you and you.
fuck school fuck studies fuck work.
fuck fuck fuck.
scolding more fucks should help me feel better.
so i shall FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKK.
FUCKERRRR.
FUCKING HELLLLL.
SO ANGRY AT YOU I MEAN ME YES ME.
FUCK why you so sad. WHAT HAPPEN TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAD HUH.
YOU DUN EVEN KNOW WHY YOU FEEL SAD THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL SO SAD.
YOU WANT TO CRY AND THEN RUIN MY NOTES HUH IS IT!?!?
I USE INKY PEN WRITE NOT BALLPOINT PEN YOU KNOW.
WHEN THE INK TOUCH WATER MEANS WHAT HUH!?
YES THE INK WILL SMUDGE YOU STUPID MFUCKERRRRRRRR.
AND THEN I SPEND SO MUCH TIME TO WRITE NICELY AND ALL FOR WHAT!?
IT WILL ALL GO TO WASTE EVEN THO AFT TML THEY WILL STILL GO TO WASTE BUT NOT NOWWWW.
YOU BETTER NOT SLEEP TONIGHT FOR MAKING ME MOPE AROUND TODAY TO FINISH MEMORISING ALL THE FUCKING NOTES.
bloody hell.
cry simi cry.
who do you think you are to cry.
you think you have the right to cry huh.
who say you can cry.
did i say you can cry.
what? who die?
oh someone did die?
is it more than three months ago?
yes?
okay means you shld fucking get your grip and stop this fucking shit.
fuck you and your pms and your emotions okay.
who gives a shit?
i don't.
so fuck you and fuck off.
i don't really need you around.
i REALLY don't want to see you.
fuck offffffff.
now i am too busy to deal with you okay.
seriously.
please stop.
should i beg?
i beg you to go.
leave me alone.
i don't want to see you.
i don't want to go on like this.
please.
leave.
you are not making me happy.
i only want someone who makes me happy.
you only remind me how useless i am.
you only remind me how worthless i am.
you don't make me feel appreciated.
you don't make me feel interesting.
you don't make me feel like i am worth any of your effort or time.
so go, just go.
you don't even make me feel special anymore.
i want to be unique and special.
i want to own a special place in your heart in my heart.
i feel like a nobody when i desperately want to be somebody.
i don't need to be known around the world.
i just want you to show me off to the world.
to be proud of me.
i want to be proud of me.
i want to smile and then show me and say confidently hi i am me.
and this is who i am.
and i am proud to be who i am.
and i am so very wonderful you know.
but i can't.
because of you.
because of you useless shit.
so fuck off.
without you i will be so much better.
i am not bipolar, i don't want to be bipolar.
i can be so much better if i don't have you.
you are always dragging me down.
you are this burden i have.
YES YOU ARE A FUCKING BURDEN.
fuck you.
all you know is do all the shitty things.
i am damn pissed alr.
and then you just lie there and cry.
i am fucking sick of this alr.
what is the fucking problem?
what is your fucking problem?
i have a fucking problem with you right now.
and i want you to go.
zao yes zao.
fucking zao.
you are being awkward now.
i hate you being awkward.
why are you awkward when you are with me.
you are the awkwardest when you are with your closest people and thats fucking weird okay.
because of you i have become this fake happy bubble thing and i am used to laughing at every single little thing but because of you standing there and watching me and judging me i start to doubt myself if it is right to be happy.
i fucking hate you lah.
why don't you fuck off and die.
i don't want to see you anymore.
i really don't.
FUCKER.