to my tao,

tay showed me this performance by a contestant on chao ji ou xiang (super idol) and she sang this song and it was so touching and beautiful and all i thought of was you, and i couldn't help but tear so much when i heard it.

i started tearing at the line 'it's not that i must have you back', which is quite true.

because sometimes i can continue living without you here, but when i start flipping some memories, and then they come gushing out at one go.. 

suddenly i dk what to do..

do you feel me missing you?

so so so so badly that i wanna punch everyone for taking you away.

it sucks to feel that your life has been so cruelly cut short, or am i just being very selfish to want you here with me till the end of my time in this world?

sometimes when i feel like just moping around, i will think of you and make myself try harder, tell myself that i want to continue living for you, but then again i dk how to do it..

i miss your voice, your laughter, your everything..

i want to pinch your face and then laugh at your mole asking why you have a fly on your face.

i want to knock your head with my knuckles like how you always do to me.

i want to hear you talk about how we used to fight and you can never believe that i bit your big toe aft you taunt me to.

are you missing me as i miss you?

i really want to believe in afterlife, after you are gone.

are you doing well with ahgong and ahma?

let them know i miss them too..

some heartaches just never go away..

and you are one of mine..

and i looked for the vid for the performance..

when i want to have a good cry, i guess i would be here :)