Yet another sleepless night..

Insomnia? Guess not.
It's probably the negative thoughts consuming me. Again.
Lying down while hugging my captain. Doesn't work.
Clearly know that it's bad, it's detrimental to dwell. So what?
Saying i can't help it and giving in. Just wanna give up.
Why do i have the wish of waking up dead?
Told myself, 'as long as idk that i'm dead.'
Laughed and smiled as usual, maybe not exactly as usual, but i was amazed.
It's pathetic, or even worse, being amazed at your own ability to laugh and smile.
If you really mean to cover up, you can actually do a pretty good job.
Pitying yourself is one of the most pathetic things in this world, and is this what i am doing to myself now?
If only i can slap myself awake, but how do i so? When i am the one who jumped in this black hole?
I thought i will finally get through it, but there was a twist in the outcome.
Jiale, what are you thinking?
Can you tell me?
But how do i do so? When me myself dun even know?

You are not sensitive enough, not attentive enough.
You dun understand me enough.
I have been trying so hard in aiding you to understand me.
But no you still dun get it, cause you arent really trying.
Since it's like this, then what's the point?
Some people are really a joke.
You have no real friends?
Ever wondered why you always lose friends?
It's not that you are suay or what, the fucking problem just lies w you.
You are that fucking problem.
Cherish people around you?
Eh please leh you telling a joke ah? HA HA HA not funny leh.
Wait till you get a boyf alr you confirm lose all your friends one.
And you dun always think ppl talk about you can?
I know a lot of people one leh.

Talking abt random people so.. up to you to decide who lah horh.
Super cranky now.
Step abit and i confirm blow you up into bits of the bits.
Dun talk to me, talk to my hand.