being curious.

i realised that questioning about everything (even asking those really weird qns) isn't really wrong.
even if the questions seem like those that only kids ask (like the other time when i asked weijie where did the ice which dropped down through the tube, seemingly from the ceiling at the drinks stall at bpp's kopitiam, come from) aren't that silly.
it's okay to question about everything.
and i sometimes question myself as well, about why are there feelings.
we are made up of atoms and particles as well, so what gave us the ability and energy to think?
why are men men and women women?
and what if the colour pink that you see is the colour blue that i see just that i thought it was pink all along because of the way my brain perceives it.
and i wonder why the colour white usually represents purity and girl girly and blue calming?
isn't this all just in our mind?
we don't see things, we only perceive them in our mind?
okay this is becoming like mindfucking hahahaha.
i wonder about too many things and am curious about too many things too.
tralalalala i should probably get to sleep soooon.

just kind of sad that i didn't manage to do my socio homework as i planned to do so tonight.
on a happier note, i managed to finish writing my promotion script for work and complete the online registration for UOL, except the paying part.
I SO DID NOT KNOW THAT WE HAVE TO PAY AGAIN TO UOL!? DIN WE ALR PAID SIM!? D:
need to tell my parents this dejecting news :(

to my one and only.

hi my dearest (L)
i am sorry that i cried and i could feel that you were worried and feeling helpless.
i almost laughed despite my tears when i heard how worried you sounded when you asked me what's wrong.
i didn't cry because i felt exhausted or hurt or anything else.
like what i told you, i cried cause i was afraid that we wouldn't have much time together in the near future and drift apart.
but what you don't know is that a big part of the reason for my tears was that i feel that i couldn't be there for you as much as i want to. :/
i feel like i have been neglecting you, though you did not complain or whatsoever.
you probably wouldn't mind as well, hahaha i am probably the only person who minds.
whenever i think of you, i think of how lucky and fortunate i am to have you.
HAHA you are probably thinking 'you this lying bitch who always bullies me' but aiya, no matter how much i bully/tease/laugh at you i love you all the same okayyyy.
captain loves you too though he kind of represents my dark and evil side WAHAHAHAHAHA.
i would be quite busy in the future but i would still try my best to fork out time for you i promise.
time always flies whenever we are together and everytime after we part, i feel like we did not even meet at all.
the longings and everything sucks though it was just a few hours ago since we last met.
kind of stupid i know and i guess recently i just felt like i had too little time to do anything else.
there are a lot of things that i am currently coping with but i know these will pass, and we have all the time in the future to spend together. (L)
i love you you this silly boy. (L)

"@ZodiacFacts: #Aries have to learn how to be true to their own hearts while still being considerate of their loved ones."

This is so true. Learning how to be patient and tolerant towards their flaws so that i can master this line.

just out of the blue i decided to update my relationship status on fb with tay hahahaha.
and it kind of saddens me to see that our relationship is still pending.... HAHAHA

reminders.

once again, i am reminded that i should stop myself from getting annoyed by people.
the real problem probably lies in me.
i need to remember to be more grateful towards the people around me.
i need to remember that no matter how good/bad they are to me, they are at the very least teaching me something.
i need to remember what tay once told me, that i should not just blurt out my unhappiness just like that, and remember to tolerate.
being able to tolerate and be patient is a virtue.
not every ounce of unhappiness needs to be voiced out.
this is to show respect to everyone out there.
i hate to admit this but complaining about others really just means that i am talking bad things behind their backs, a.k.a backstabbing.. okay maybe not so serious but okay about there lah.

everyone needs a reminder every now and then, to get reminded of what they already knew but forgotten.
i am no exception.
i am no saint.
i have faults and not everything i say is right, even though i might arrogantly think that way but i do know that i make mistakes sometimes no matter how unwilling i am to admit them.
i can't just mature and grow overnight, but i will try my best.
i need to remember. i need to get reminded.
if you love me, remind me occasionally, would you?
as long as you realise that i am straying from my path, as long as you realise that i am not focusing and working towards my goals.
stop me, and ask me, what do i really really want?
i do know what i want, i do know what are my goals, i guess it's time to clearly define them and make them specific enough for me to run harder to reach them.

annoying people.

i miss this little white space lots and i have been dying to share my bangkok trip which happened a month ago here too but well, time has been on the lacking side recently and today, once again, is my off day! woohoo!
but no i still am not gonna blog too much because i'm heading out later~

just had this thought as you can see from the blog post title.
some people just annoy the hell out of me but they don't even know it themselves.
how do i even put it across to them without sounding rude?
i mean, i can't help being a little rude or frigid when responding to them.
it's like 'HELLOOOO i don't even want to talk to you, you bitch/asshole.'
then sometimes i think of the Secret and feel that i should probably add more love to make it work out but how do i do so when i don't even want any forms of relationship between us to work out in any way!?!?!?
and then again, i try using the Secret to ask for what i want and fully believe in it so much that it is as if i have already received it.
okay that's difficult.
but i guess i will continue to work that out.
and people who annoy me always talk or ask about stupid things?
and well, i guess it's pretty easy to find out whether you are annoying me anot.
if i am just responding to you in one or two words replies then yes, you are annoying.
isn't that obvious?
i guess people around me (even those who don't know me that well) can sense that i am annoyed with you.
i don't want to bluntly say that 'yes, i am annoyed' but just think before you speak.
and don't act blur/cute. i can tell whether it's real or fake just like how i can tell if you are truly sincere or not.
and another you, stop shooting my words with rubbish okay. -_-
it's not funny at all?
and please be more mature and stop being so childish. i don't even feel like entertaining you anymore...