to my one and only.

hi my dearest (L)
i am sorry that i cried and i could feel that you were worried and feeling helpless.
i almost laughed despite my tears when i heard how worried you sounded when you asked me what's wrong.
i didn't cry because i felt exhausted or hurt or anything else.
like what i told you, i cried cause i was afraid that we wouldn't have much time together in the near future and drift apart.
but what you don't know is that a big part of the reason for my tears was that i feel that i couldn't be there for you as much as i want to. :/
i feel like i have been neglecting you, though you did not complain or whatsoever.
you probably wouldn't mind as well, hahaha i am probably the only person who minds.
whenever i think of you, i think of how lucky and fortunate i am to have you.
HAHA you are probably thinking 'you this lying bitch who always bullies me' but aiya, no matter how much i bully/tease/laugh at you i love you all the same okayyyy.
captain loves you too though he kind of represents my dark and evil side WAHAHAHAHAHA.
i would be quite busy in the future but i would still try my best to fork out time for you i promise.
time always flies whenever we are together and everytime after we part, i feel like we did not even meet at all.
the longings and everything sucks though it was just a few hours ago since we last met.
kind of stupid i know and i guess recently i just felt like i had too little time to do anything else.
there are a lot of things that i am currently coping with but i know these will pass, and we have all the time in the future to spend together. (L)
i love you you this silly boy. (L)