Our First Anniversary.

HI i actually created a collage of our pictures but then again,

i feel that this is a much much more meaningful picture than ALL the rest. heh.

it's been a year since then.

since that greatest surprise i have received which i had been so gong about. HAHAHA.

will never forget my shock when i see you accepting the 'bday cake' meant for 'others' from the waitress. HAHAHAHAHA.

time really do fly.

if it flies for another few more months, then you will officially become my longest boyfriend. HAHAHA.

well, honestly,

i havent been the best girlf.

but yet, you stood by me.

p.s. the following is just for one person. but if you wanna read it, then dun complain.

---

since 8 April 1992,

i have been spoiled by numerous people - my parents, my aunts, my uncles, my ahgong, my ahmas, my cousins, my siblings, my friends, etc etc.

i was really a spoiled kid.

i used to be the only child, and received all the love from everyone, mostly my parents of course.

that is until 3 June 1994 when LEE JIA MIN was born. HAHAHA.

okay at least i was like the main (and only) 'character' in my parents' life for like more than two years.

i grew up happily, cause somehow people just naturally liked me HAHA not kidding okay.

PLUS i was somehow able to communicate very well with people, as compared to my dear ahmin.

i always had lots of friends surrounding me, and somehow teachers loved me.

in kindergarten, teachers picked me for the grad ceremony perf and according to the teacher my size is the average one so even the costume is tailored to my measurements. KEKE.

in my first primary school, i was always picked for perfs and act as the main character.

in my second primary school, my teacher picked me as the class representative for weird contests like the whitest teeth even though i have a decayed tooth. HAHAHA.

my older cousins always let me have my way. be it jiejie, ortao, xueli jiejie.

even younger cousins (okay maybe without the S behind 'cousin) like weilong will buy me more sushis as compared to the amt bought for the other cousins.

i was so thoroughly spoiled. D: (but definitely not as spoiled as jiamin. ^^)

somehow, as i grew older, i started dating.

that's when i started losing everything. okay no, almost everything.

family, friends, and eventually him.

it's weird that at that point in time i felt like i lost everything.

but wait, i realised that i was nv thoroughly alone.

somehow, just somehow, there is always at least a friend there to accompany me during my downs, to pick me up when i fall, or even just to give me a shoulder to cry on.

and as time passes, i flew in and out of r/s.

when a r/s ended, the heartbreaks never last too long.

i would not say that it din hurt cause the impact it gave was forever.

each r/s somehow gave me their own trauma which up till now, i'm unable to shake off.

i regretted flying in and out of r/s, so much.

friends laughed at me for being a slut/flirt, and that i change my boyf faster than them changing their underwear.

they laughed, and i wondered if they meant it for real.

i know some friends dont, but yet for the others, you never know.

i rmb someone called me a bitch who changes boyf faster than her changing clothes.

but then again, who knew me like the way i do.

okay you may be wondering what the hell am i writing all these life stories in this post,

but okay i am gonna start linking up all these stories to the stuffs below kay.

cause i was such a spoiled kid,

i never saw that i was quite a self-centred bitch.

to me, everything i did/said was right.

and i hate it when people contradicts me.

but somehow, you could tell that, and you chided me for having a sucky attitude and made me see from your light.

i was so spoiled, even by you, that i left you no pride at all while exposing your vulnerabilities, hurting you entirely while being blinded by my own misery and pain.

talking abt that makes me feel like crying now.

i'm so DAMN DAMN DAMN sorry for hurting you then.

i failed to see YOUR misery and pain, which got doubled cause you felt mine as well. i failed to see those and tore your wounds open cruelly.

i forgot that you felt scared too. forgot that you were as lost and confused as i was too. i just assumed that you had to take the responsibility and the lead. i am so sorry my dear.

i even felt so righteous at exposing you. never thought that i multiplied your pain and hurt by galleons. how stupid was i. and this just happened just a few weeks back.

this incident really gave me a big knock on my head, and i realised how much you love me then.

no matter how much pain you were in, you never inflicted any on me to make yourself feel better, unlike me.

fuck im feeling so guilty now and tears just keep flowing. hahahaha.

you were in pain yet you din show it, and you let me vent it all.

i know i am in the fault now. i am sorry.

and i was so self-centred that i thought aft that matter which happened to me years back would be the worst part of my life, and it will all be smooth-sailing for me from now on that i failed to see that like in roller coasters, life would go down more than once.

and so, i fell again.

i vented everything on you, you took everything.

when you were feeling down, i blamed you for not sharing with me. ohwtf why am i like this.

and i accused you for not loving me just cause you refused to share, when you did so cause you love me far too much.

i am probably the worst girlf ever, while you are the best boyf i could ever have.

you stopped trying to surprise me, after being disappointed cause of me talking about how i alr expected them.

i am sorry you took it as i din appreciate them.

but you dunoe how much i loved them, that i am always waiting for the next.

you know all my faults, and yet you chose to see past them all and love and protect me in your own ways which i never saw with my blinded eyes trying to find some kind of prince charming which will never appear.

will never forgot how that night i found you crying and wetting the whole pillow cause you thought you were gonna lose me.
i was so damn shocked cause bi ah bi, i will never fucking leave you okay. no matter how much things you do to piss me off. HAHAHA.
unless you go sleep with some other girls, or text/msn/fb/tell other girls i love you or i miss you, or anyhow go out on dates with girls without telling me.
i see all those above as cheating on me horh. cheating on me is definitely not allowed in my worldddd~~
but okay go back to that story.
i will also nv forget how i found that letter draft of yours to me which has dried spots of tears on it saying that you din want me to go for the overseas internship. HEHEHE.
dun feel embarrassed okay. cause ben xiao jie now basking in the sweetness of all these HAHAHA.

oh wo de tian i am crying like crazy right now and i dun even know why. hahahahaha.

i will, cause i love you, try and see everything in a much positive light.

i will, cause i love you, trust you more.

i will, cause i love you, to continue loving you for as long as i am able to.

thank you for all those changes you made just to suit me and my bipolar character and weird personality.

i will now try and fix the broken and spoiled parts of me so that you will be happier.

i am really happy that it's you by my side and not anyone else.

god knows where else can i find someone who is as generous and big-hearted as you.

really the best kay.

perhaps this had been an incoherent post but i hope you understand just what i am trying to express.

you know i always say senseless stuffs and beat around the bush when all i want to say is just smthing small.

i am touched by your actions, and now i want you to be touched by mine.

not the touch you are thinking of right now you sucker. hahahaha.

no matter what happens in the future, i will love you kay.
no matter how fat you grow, i will look past your fats and love you kay.

and no matter how much porn you watch, i will forgive and love you kay. HAHAHA.

okay kidding.

dun always think that you love me more than i love you.

it's just that the way i treat the one i love is a little erm weird and selfish somehow, but the amt of love cannot be compared!

i truly love you.
i dunoe how long is forever, but i will try my very best kay. ^^

sincerely,

your gorgeous and loveliest girlf,

LEE JIA LE (L)