`391st post

i'm really worried. there's nothing i can say or do to make everything okies again. how? i want to do something but yet i feel so helpless. i want to be there for you be there for your mum. but wad can i do? argh. this helplessness sucks. please be okies please be okies please be okies please be okies please be okies. results aren't everything right? why do others have to be like this? why do you have to look down on people? so what if my results are not good? i still have other strengths that you can't see right? being smart is so impt? having good results is so impt? argh. it's not like i don't want to have good results. you you and you all pine your hopes on me. so what if i'm the child who has the best results in the whole family? there are times that i fall hard. these are the times when i need you to support me. do you understand? i understand how you feel, so i don't blame you for what you are doing. but understand how i feel too? i feel freaking bad and guilty when i sense how you feel. i look at your expressions, hear your thoughts, sense your emotions. it's making me hate myself. you you and you. don't you dare look down on my family just cause my results aren't good. i feel pitiful towards your family members who have to put up with you and snob attitude. i feel pitiful towards your family for having a family member or family members like you. you bring disgrace to your family. NOT ME. i know i tried my best. i wanted to do well too. even if i don't and didn't bring glory to my family, looking at your attitude, i know my family is so much better than yours, and i feel grateful for that. so what if your daughter/son got better than me? so what? if they have your attitude, they will fall harder than me one day. i wouldn't laugh, but it's just your retribution isn't it? it's cause of you this kind of people that brought misery to people. don't look down on others. don't you have a conscience? you think you are so great? if so, you would already be the president. watch me. i will strive harder and beat you. i will. rmb to have your eyes on me the whole time. my BRIGHT future will blind your eyes. >:) so can you stop being like this? they will get their deserved end of the stick. :((