i try to think this over rationally.
i try to give myself rational reasons.
but no matter how rational they are, they can never overcome the emotions that i feel...
there are so many things i love about you, and yet there are also so many things i hate about you.
they say you only need one reason to stay together.. but really?
there is this chemistry between us, cultivated for so many years, and we are in sync in the manner such that i dont have to say much, one look and you'd know.
but then again there are so many times that you just don't get it, not at all, and i get so frustrated that i just wanna punch you over and over again.
and then again maybe it's not these issues, there are far bigger (or smaller) issues than this, depending on your perspectives.
relationships are based on trust.
yep trust is the foundation of all relationships.
without trust, you can't build anything with that person.
and is this what it is happening right now?
okay it probably is.
and i have no idea how to fix this shit by myself.
and then i gave up.
and then now i am just thinking again, if i should pick up this wreck and try to make it work again?
maybe if i am patient enough, it'd work out, i would be truly happy again.
smtimes all i need is a little more deep looks into my eyes, a few long hugs, more snuggles and cuddles, more playing with your fingers/my hair.
i need these, and so much more.
i need my emotions and feelings to be put at first place, at all times.
i need a laugh to go with my pettiness, a smile to go with my being unreasonable, a pat to go with my tears; since i am someone who switches mood as quickly as i blink.
or perhaps i just need someone who knows emotions, who understands them, who can take care of both my emotions and his.
someone who knows what is best for me, who knows that i wouldnt complain, as long as i am well taken care of.
are my expectations too high?
i am just so sick of this shit.
i hate this, i hate you. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you.