my parents told me i don't understand the importance of getting a degree before working,
i told them they don't understand my desire to provide for myself first before considering further studies.
you ask me why?
probably because i feel that my opinions will only matter and i will only be acknowledged AFTER i start earning my keep and provide for this family.
and it sucks to keep trying to get money from your parents when you know they are not that able to. yes i dun just mean my allowance, even my fucking school fees.
you tell me not to worry about money, but to be honest, i can't. because i have been watching how money causing so much problems in the house for how many years? please help me count how many years i have been living in this world thanks.
sometimes all i hope is to be understood, and understand why i do the things i do, and how i think.
i really hate money matters, and i have always sworn to myself that i will earn enough money to support myself even after i get married.
i really hate the problems that money causes, or should i say human beings are the root of all these evil?
yes, we are not fucking poor, but do you know how i feel when i see the face you have when i get money from you?
i think, one line my dad told me when i was young affected me a lot.
he said, 'if you want me to stop smoking, then you have to wait till you start providing for this family, then when we start using your money, i will listen to you as to how to spend your money. now i am spending my money, so you can't tell me how to spend my money, right?'
yup i can't.
i initially wanted to put this up on facebook in the hopes that my parents will read it and hopefully understand how i feel for once.
but i guess, you aren't supposed to wash the dirty linens of your family in public eh?
this is also the public, but it's still a lot more private than facebook.
and perhaps even though i am writing this here, i am still hoping that they will discover it.
i really hate studying now, hate how it is interfering with me getting on with my life.
fuck this shit.