jiale, you are capable.

i want to choose my own life, and not let it be dictated by others.
even though i don't fully know exactly what i want, it's okay.
i just want to go out there and experience many things, even if they are cruelly realistic.
no matter good or bad, i will accept it, for it's my very own choice.
for they are those i chose out of my free will.
don't tell me there is no time, time is naught but a man-made concept.
don't tell me my abilities are limited, for that's what told to thomas edison before he invented the lightbulb, to alexander graham bell before he invented the telephone, to the wright brothers before they came out with aeroplanes.
my idea may be different, i may have a different set of thinking compared to the others, but it's the same as the guy who was laughed at dk-how-many-but-many-many years ago for saying that the earth is round when everyone said that it's flat.
being in the majority doesn't mean you are right, it just means that there are people sharing your ideas.
it's okay if i am the only one who believe in mine, for it's enough.
i just don't need you to step on it and ridicule it, if you are the one who says you love me.
sometimes i really wonder what's the point?
what's the point of having emotions?
i really want to throw them out of the window.
leave me alone now, all these mixed feelings.
i don't really need you now, i just want to be alone, thoroughly alone with only jonghyun's voice singing in my ear.
i guess his voice is the only thing that can calm me so instantly and help me relax.
i am forever grateful to him, and to the rest of shinee.
they are more than just an idol, they are a glimpse of hope to me.
thankful that they are able to stay so cheerful and mischievous despite their tough and busy schedules.
thinking of their hardship from way before they debut gives me more reasons to work harder.
thank you for giving me reasons that others have failed to.
encouraging people to study isn't just by saying 'faster go study, faster go study.' for you only made the activity of studying more resentful.
there is really really no one who can bring you down more than yourself, so, jiale, keep faith in yourself, in your own capabilities.

remember your jiale world, remember that you are your own princess, you are your own goddess, you are your own follower, you only need to be yourself, you only need you to have faith in you.
if they say they love you, time would eventually show.
you are brave as i know it.
you are not that bad-tempered, you are just frustrated at yourself for being unable to express what you truly feel, at others for not getting you after knowing you for so long, at them for not seeming to care much about you.
it's okay.
if they don't, just let them be.
let go.
let's just let go.
i will love you the most, i will show you as much concern as you need.
be more sure of yourself, be more confident, be firm on your decisions.
you will understand yourself more as time passes.
i know you are 21, but instead of thinking as 'you are already 21', remind yourself that you are 'only' 21.
tell that to yourself even when you are 31, 41, 51, 61.
who knows if we'd live that long, but that doesn't matter.
your life would be however long you need to know yourself.
we don't know what lies at the end of it, but i will be with you at every step of the way.
and even thereafter, if there is something else waiting for us, i will still be there with you.
you and me, we are a part of each other.
we are just different sides of jiale.
we are all jiale.
we are all you, whatever your name is.
your name don't define you.
you define you.