dk if i am over-stressing myself.
tears are actually forming in my eyes.
i am so afraid.
afraid of what? failing? probably.
i am probably most afraid about having to study for another extra year if i fail.
all i want now is for someone to hug me and say it's okay if you fail or whatever.
i will be in charge of providing for you for the rest of the years.
just say only.
i wun really let you do that.
i still will want to earn my own keep.
say only.
i need to calm down.
at most i crap about everything only what.
sunny said it's better if you argued well than you know alot of the contents ma.
i will do well.
i know i will.
jia le ah jia le relax please.
cry simi cry!?
nvm nvm okay one.
luckily at times like these i have captain who is right beside me :')

are you always hoping that your world changes?
well that's me.
though sometimes i wonder, why not be that change?
why not do something to change your surrounding to how you want it to be like?
it's easier said than done.
but, i am trying.
probably just need more than 24 hours in a day though.
go go go.
okay this is bye for real.

studying.

really loathes the fact that i need or have to study.
it's annoying that there is this thought bugging me everytime i'm doing something unrelated to studying. like now.
i am starting to doubt if i can actually finish studying before exams start.
considering that the progress is really slow right now.
but yet again, i have a carefree feeling inside of me.
okay lee jia le you need to at least pass everything.
you wouldn't want to study an extra year right!?
oh wells....
back to studying now i guess.
goodbye, i miss you people <3 p="">

guess what?

it's great that people love you for who you pretend to be,
but it's super super lucky to have people who love you for who you are, no matter which side you show.
and yes, i am super super lucky hehehe.

okay, feeling warmer in my study room as the weather prepares itself for the rain D:
humidity gao gao.
at least i am actually studying right now.
curbing the urge to go youtube and watch shinee's one wonderful day hahahah.
okay jiayou jiale.
bye peeps.

hi, i really ought to be studying.
but i guess the thought of me kept telling myself 'i ought to study' bores myself.
i should stop seeing it as studying?
however, a good point to note would be that i actually understand what the whole module is trying to get me understand, and what's the whole point of learning this module.
yes, i only realised its objectives just before the start of the exams. it's already not bad okay.
erm, i dun actually have much time to study, considering that it's already 10.30am and i have a class at 12pm which means i am supposed to leave my house before 11am.
okay bye.

HAPPY 800TH DAY!

800 days just flew past just like that!? omg seriously are you kidding me!?!?
and remind me to buy toto/4d 88days later okay.
since it will be 888 (huat huat huat) hahahah.

our most recent photo that i have heh.

thank you my dearest boy, for so much so much.
thank you for tolerating me everytime i annoy you with captain.
thank you for thinking that my nose is small though i don't really think so but i guess it's just proportionate to my face hahaha.
thank you for using captain to tell me that i got 水蛇腰 lolol when i can be skinnier.
thank you for all your smiles and hugs.
thank you for comforting me when i was feeling guilty abt you buying me the samantha vega bag by saying that it's normal for girls to have lots of different bags to match w their clothings. T^T

800 days has passed andddddddd please learn how to say things that girls or rather me like to hear okay.
and in one and a half month's time you are gonna fly to europe.
pleaseeeee take good care of yourself, for my sake.
and go clubbing nvm, if you dance with girls you might not have the chance to enjoy a father's day >:) hahahahaha.

andddd last but not least,
i love you this mcpherson deep deep deeeeeeper than the seeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

my thoughts about uni.

my tweets explain exactly how i feel.

yes read it from bottom to top, that's how twitter works.

i am not happy now, seriously not.

i'd much rather work.

honestly.

working and earning my own keep is so much better than having to reach my hand out to get it from you.

ask me to work?

seriously i can't cope that well w studies and work.

not in this period.

i feel like my life has stopped, until i graduate and get a job..

sucks.

me life.

i am bored.

okay i am just too lazy to start on my books.

welllll, i had a 8.30am lesson today, so can you forgive me? *blink*blink*

hehe. and what's annoying is that there is this WONDERFUL THUNDERSTORM which created a PURRRRFECT sleep-in morning, IN THIS PARTICULAR MORNING WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP IN >:(

tay sweetly got up and poured me a glass of water after the alarm rang a few times but i was still in the bed 'cause i told him last night that my recent nausea might be due to dehydration for my mouth is forever feeling dry.

and then after downing the water i attempted to lie back in my bed but was obstructed with him sitting behind me :(

scrolled through instagram (no longer twitter hahah) and told him i would go prepare for sch.

and so i did.

and i only reached school after a torturous two hours (or more) of bladder-bursting-but-stuck-in-the-bus kind of traffic jam...

and the jam started even before my bus stop and i din take much note until i hurriedly boarded the bus when i saw it arriving at the bus stop without bothering to check if the traffic is smooth and then the bus stopped almost as soon as it started -_-|||

lecture was super draggy and the lecturer's voice just droned on and on and on. din help to wake me up.

milo van started during lunch at 12nn YAY our lunchtime but we had only 30mins lunchbreak and the queue was alr sooooooo long despite it was only a few mins past 12 -_-

so went straight up to the foodcourt and nope i didn't regret not grabbing a cup of my beloved favourite milo because the guy in front of us was holding a cup and the size was smaller than my palm (not including fingers okay, only palm).

okay actually the real point of this post was to justify to myself once again that it was right to not get that cup of milo because actually i quite cheapo got free things of course must take right!!

hahahahahahahahahaha.

anywww, i also want to commend my study table for being such a great companion and letting me have my own space even though i haven really do much to it so it doesn't look like what i hoped it will look like but it's still a great sanctuary away from my dad's cigarette smoke :(

okay some photos of my study table because, yes, i am bored like that.

my study table and me!
you can spot a few things on my shelves like the graduation bear and two folders one with jonghyun and the other w seohyun on it keke. ohh there is a third one which is shinee but not that obv. you can spot my polaroid camera and if you look closely near the graduation bear there is random bear and there is also two characters from one piece and also two paperweights where one is a mickey mouse one and the other is a penguin one yay! and oops you can't see in this pic but to the far left (actually is right this picture toh beng) my happiness monster is there!

on my magnetic board you can see magnetic strips with writing such as '20th' and 'yinjiale' because yes they are my birthday present/surprise from tay who stuck them up while i was bathing on my 20th birthday hahaha.

on the board you may also spot three shinee $100 notes i obtained from shinee world concert 2 last year.

i also have a few pictures one of my girls on my 19th, one of me clara hyrah cheryl when we went to island creamery, one of cheryl and me and one of tay when he asked me 'eh ai stead mai' okay that's not what really happened hahaha, one jonghyun's pic given by hyrah and one of me, tao, my ahgong and ahma. speaking of which, i'm really scared for my ahma's health. :( i can't imagine being the only one left in that photo somehow..

and random receipts of things such as facial which i was supposed to do but i didn't.

yes there is a piglet's head hung there my mum bought it for me idk what to do with it.

there is also motivational quotes and things i wanna do on it.

as you can see i have my table lamp which i really love. and there is this princess bucket where i dump all the cables and wires, it's kind of furry and cute and it was a bday gift when i was sec 2/3, can't rmb which. i was kind of obsessed about being a princess back then you see hahaha.

there is this waffle stick tin there which is actually my money tin lolol and i previously hid it but aftdat i had to keep taking it out to put money in so it became a chore.

i also have a ferris wheel musical box which i actually use to relax or help me focus w its 'i wish you a merry christmas' melody and i originally bought it for a christmas gifts exchange w my cousins last year where the party was last minute cancelled. and yea it reminded me of tao too.

beside it there is a small little cupboard which you can use to put reallllly tiny stuffs but i have no idea what to put there but it's what me and tay won in a pasar malam so it's gonna stay there for awhile hahaha.

and you can see my calendar at the side with a woof woof on it. oh and a baby calendar which you can flip to the mood you are currently feeling hehe. a bday gift from my friends back when i was in sec 2.

oh you can see the snake brand cooling powder too which is essential because it can get really hot here in the study room there is also chewing gum but don't really eat them.

there's also random notes and stationeries lying around and tay's belt which he anyhow left here since it's already spoiling.

okay i am really good at wasting time by typing all these stuffs right.

i ought to reward you with some pictures of me lololol.

idk if my teeth seems super white because of my red nose or because captain's white became some dirty yellowish white. :(

kua simi kua!?

okay this is the end of my boliao post.

thank you for coming to take a look into jiale's world.

i din realise it's alr 7plus and i wanted to watch the 7pm show on channel 8 one.

okay goodbye.

we are all beautiful beings.

you should all watch this :')
came across this on fb and saw it on cheryl's blog too.
it made me tear.
tay always told me i was prettier than how i see myself, for i hated my skin my ultra red nose and everything else, but i never believed him.
i guess it's just human nature to doubt ourselves so much more than others.
i am beautiful!
so are you!
:*

i am still sensitive to the word 'death' or even seeing it happening, be it on the internet, news or even in  dramas.
i missed you terribly these two days.
nah, i miss you everyday, just that i chose to not see it so i can better cope with my life.
i am already 21! we are of the same age now! hehehe.
next year i will be 22 and you will still be 21.
sucker, you will forever be young hahaha.
we were so much like a couple when we were younger hahaha.
still rmb the time when we fought till i was hugging you so tight to bound your arms and you were trying to turn your head to lick my face lol but i stuck my cheek right against yours so you couldn't move.
even siblings might not be as close as us right!?
i still rmb the time when i was so pissed at you for stealing my egg off my plate 'cause there was none on the dining table.
and i even wrote in my diary saying i am never going to forgive you lolol those childish times.
it pains me to think that there will be no more childish fights and squabbles.
i miss just grabbing your arm and make you take photos with me.
i also miss laughing at your sleeve-like tattoos.
i miss biting you and making you surrender.
hahaha the only thing i can promise you is that i will never forget you, at least in this lifetime, unless i knock my head in some kind of accident and forget everyone else okay.
i will not let myself get dementia, i will work my brain every single day even when i am old.
tao, you must look over ahma okay.
her health is deteriorating.
i am really very scared of another death happening.
please don't, at least not in the near future.
give us more time with her.
thank you tao, thank you so much.
even though you always tease me, i know i can trust you this time round right?
i love you, always have, always will.

My 21st Birthday Celebrations!

Okay my first celebration was with sebas on 5th apr anddddd no photos are taken on that day HAHA.

he's not that big on photos anddd i kinda forgot hahaha.

lunched at pizza hut and we caught GI Joe yayy! love action movies.

and we walked around and i thought of buying a yoga mat but din have enough cash, and that's when sebas told me that in the envelope that he gave me earlier in the day, which i thought was just a birthday card/letter, had cash in it HAHAHA.

it was too funny but at least a birthday letter was enclosed okay. if only money idk what to say lolol.

feels like he is bribing me or smthing lolol.

okay and on the next day, 6apr, it was the celebration w my girls!

say hi to me haha.

we went to the SEA Aquarium!! and before that there is this mini silk road museum~

FINALLY WE HAVE REACHED HERE.

it's too dark for my camera to take their faces :(

super cute baby jellyfishie~

YES SOMEONE PROPOSED THERE OMG SO CUTE AND SWEET BUT SPOIL MARKET MR TAY YIN JI I WILL BE EXPECTING MORE THAN THIS NOW OR ELSE I WILL ANSWER NO HAHAHA.

beeuteeful fishieeee.

NEMOOOOOO.

NEMO AND DORYYYY! cant wait for finding dory hehehe.

SEE THE GIRAFFE BEHIND AND ABOVE.

waiting for the peeps in the toiletttt.

wanted to grow my fringe out but looking at these photos i think i should just cut it :(

it makes me uncomfortable and ugly cause it's still at the awkward stage aft so long and i keep tilting my chin out so my face is rounder than it already is :( oh sigh decisions decisions.

din post all the fishie photos or else you will have more than you already have to scroll keke.

went off to vivo sushi tei to eat!!! nomnomnom.

i din take any pics of the food but here's a photo of the plates wiped clean hehe.

went off to the sentosa boardwalk to take more photos and polaroids and here i only have the photos of the polaroids hahaha for more photos please go to fb.

these two polaroids are actually of my girls but i have no idea why it turned out so dark T^T

individual polaroids!

group polaroids!

on 7th apr~

had a dinner with my family minus papa :( plus tay.

papa says he will bring me to go somewhere else to eat so i am still waitingggg hahaha.

went to koh grill and sushi for shiok maki!!

no photos 'cause all photos are taken by mum using my sis' camera and idk where did her camera go soooo no photos hahaha.

but after dinner we walked around and tay brought me over to take a look at my samantha vega baggsss.

tried them just to see how i look holding them and din actually expect to buy any.

have loved samantha vega and samantha thavasa for some time since i tot it suited my act cute style lol but no moneh buy. and tay actually bought one of their bags for me!! omg heart him to the max hahaha.

he also bought me this really pretty star charm though the main purpose of buying is so that we can enter a sure-win lucky draw lolol and i got this pretty cardholder!! still can't really bear to use it yet though.. :(

too excited so i started taking photos of my gifts back home hehe.

OMG EXCITED!?

TADA!

so pretty righttt!! you see the star? and the cardholder!? hehe omg i lub them!!

the presents from my girls!! (L)

shinee's dream girl album and klipsch earpiece and jonghyun's photocard hehe.

 cards from my girls and the white envelope at the side is what i got from sebas teehee.

and on the actual day of my birthday~~~ DENG DENG DENG~~~~

outfit of the day~

tay offered to carry the bag for me 'cause even he is mesmerized by the bag hahaha.

i played around with his jacket lolol. FASHUN!

went to boomarang for our lunch!

pretty cosy place to chill. heh.

his salmon.

my kangaroo.

another pic cause it's too fantabulous.

he took this cause he loved it too much lol.

after lunch we took a bus to plazasg and caught the movie 'saving general yang'.
omg it's such a touching movie with all the family and sibling bonds. T^T
i loved it so much.
everyone should definitely go watch it!!!!

took a cab to one fullerton 'cause it was pouring heavily when we were about to leave keke.
went up to forlino and it was like a mini maze at the start hahaha.

we actually reached super early even before they started their dinner service hahaha.

reached at like 6.20pm when they start at 6.30pm.

shouldn't have wore heels cause my feet was hurting and i was dying to sit. reason why we reached so early hahaha.

but they still welcomed us really warmly despite still preparing and seated us first.

first time at such a high class restaurant i need to act atas abit hehe.

boy keeps asking me to help him take photos. LOOK AT MBS.

YES YOU CAN SEE THE FLYER AND THE MERLION TOO THOUGH THE TREES ARE SO TALL.

i have no idea why there is this dreamy effect despite no editing.

and even the breadsticks taste so goooood *-*

tay's americano hahaha.

my lychee martini!! sigh i miss it alr.

focaccia bread and raspadura cheese.

if only this was my breakf every single day. the ultimate sweetness of the bread with the cheese omg ultimate combination. if you go with the butter instead, the butter actually highlights the bread's sweetness. oh sigh :')

wagyu beef tenderloin with pan-fried foie gras in marsala wine sauce and sansho pepper.

and now i know why people rave about foie gras. it's so damn good me and tay just swooned over it at the table lolol.

his cream of seven red vegetables.

he had a five course meal while i just had that beef tenderloin you saw w a dessert keke.

tay's spaghetti alla chitarra i think hahaha. lobster spaghetti!

sadly we din take photos of all the awesome food because we dug in as soon as the food is placed on the table hahaha.

and then the waitress serving our table and a waiter brought this birthday cake to me!! :')
and they even cutely sang me a birthday song, softly so i wouldn't be embarrassed and we wouldn't disturb the people at the other tables hahaha.

at the same time other desserts arrived too!! SO EXCITED FOR DESSERTS!!

THIS IS THE MUST TRY CARAMEL LAVA CAKE!!! together with the cookie crumble and icecream at the other side OMG I LOVE THIS IS ANOTHER ULTIMATE COMBINATION!!!!!

night view!!

we were actually trying to take our reflections hahaha.

the following is their reception area, taken by tay while i was idling in the washroom heh.

got home and mum got me a birthday cake! hehehe.

tay is jealous 'cause i look esp happy when i'm taking photos with captain hahaha.

took photos with tay and my family too but the pics are in my sister's camera which i can't find so so be it hahaha.

okay adeline toh this is my birthday celebration hahahahaha and hope you have enjoyed looking at all the foooooooooood because i am dying to relive it again already T^T