sometimes, just sometimes, i feel that i might still be loving the idea of you.
yes, not you, but the idea of you.
cause the current you is too far for me to understand, and now the idea of you just seem so impossible yet possible at the same time.
i rmb that once, when i thought i saw you walking towards me, i panicked and almost felt guilty cause i was holding someone else's hand.
it was such a knee-jerk reaction that even i shocked myself.
it's stupid i know, esp when that someone is my boyf.
but i can't forget that feeling which makes me wonder a little sometimes.
am i being delusional about how i feel now?
i really hope not.
things aren't as complicated as i often think they are.
i should stop overcomplicating things and concentrate on enjoying the people and things i have now.
probably it's just the emo songs which are getting into my head... or else, i don't know anymore..
probably i never got over that r/s, and i never will.
the memories we shared will just be there to remind me that we are happy once, and that's enough.
don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm wishing that we are back together, but more of us being able to shake hands and smile genuinely at each other.
i guess i need a closure.
and stop feeling that i am somehow being left hanging there by you.