i just don't know anymore..

Smtimes i feel like you find me not worth the effort anymore. Not worth spending the time on anymore. Perhaps it's true that they say aft the first year it's the hardest. I just dun wanna admit it. Im not gonna bow down at it. But smtimes i wonder, if i stop and fail, would you continue trying? Deep down inside i know you will stop, you will just excuse yourself and pretend that nothing happen like always. And then i will be left crying alone like the broken pieces only belong to me. So now i tear for all the fear inside of me. Just gonna be a weakling for one more night. Im gonna shut the doors now, any last words to stop me from doing so? If not, be prepared to scale the high walls of thorns.