Expectations

Is it wrong to expect? Or am i expecting too much?
I dun really feel happy nowadays. Okay i do feel happy smtimes. But yeah only sometimes.
Who understands? I really dunoe. It's not abt having someone there for you, it's more of having someone who understands.
What do i do when my expectations fall short? Can i scream and yell and shout and throw my tantrums?
What do i do when i feel like i can't hold on for much longer?
What do i do when all that you said no longer stay true?
What do i do when all the tears are cooped up and they aren't falling as freely as they want to?
I have no idea how to do things anymore.
Everything i do is wrong. Everything i say is wrong.
In my world, there is no right left. There is only wrongs, mistakes and errors.
I am so sick of this. I am so sick of me.
I dun feel like caring what i will gain in this life. This is enough. I dun wanna experience anything anymore. I just dun have the willpower to carry on anymore.
I am a liar. I am a hypocrite.
People can hardly change my mind. Once it is set and i believe fully what i do, nothing can change my mind.
Stubborn in a crude way and persistant in a nice way.
Any-oh-how, i am a fucked up person.
Btw, the main reason why tears are formed is cause of one word: hurt


Jiale, perhaps you have been too childish. Perhaps it's time for you to grow up.