okay just anyway was talking to mrtay. somehow. is it that i always give people the impression that i am weak? like i am a little girl who needs to be taken care of? i think it is just somewhat an image i portray. but i dun really think that i am weak.
sometimes i am just unsure of myself. dun really have much confidence. and that is all.
maybe i am a little careless in doing things such as crossing the road, or i may be a little unobservant so i accidentally din notice some people.
im not a little girl who needs protection actually. maybe i admit i'm quite used to being protected. by friends and people around me. but actually i really dun nd any. i am fine on my own. :)
i am strong enough. and when i say strong i dun mean physically strong of course. HAHAHA. i am physically weak. what i meant was emotionally and mentally strong. i remained sane and happy despite having a hard and tough past.
when i say tough, you dunoe what i have been through. i had suicidal thoughts, had noone in my life but myself, tried to cut myself and hurt myself in order to attract attention from the person i wanted, and all to no avail. but i survived.
friends say i have gone through the worst part of my life and there should be nothing tougher. so bring it on. i survived those tough times in which i thought i would die. i know that i am strong. what else do you wanna do to me? even though i often say that i wun be able to take it, i know i can. i just DUN WANT to.
i am also independent enough. when i was young, i know where i wanna go. and being the stubborn and strong-headed me, i refused to listen to anyone. and one of my biggest regrets in life is to listen to my aunties when i was in p6 who stressed me to choose anderson as my sec sch.
now i know, i would have my own choices, because if i made a mistake, i wun regret it. i was the one who chose my path.
i was taught to be independent at home. cause im the oldest and i am supposed to do well being the role model of my two sisters. and i made decisions on my own.
if i ever seemed weak to you, it must be cause i am afraid of losing anyone. what i am most afraid of is not even the dark or the ghost. what i am most afraid of is being alone, being lonely. i guess most people have the same fear as me.
this is why sometimes i try to please people more than i should. and i slowly grew to realise that it's wrong. and i'm trying to correct myself. and the best would be making myself as well as others happy at the same time. :)
perhaps i like to whine a little too often. it's just a little tactic since young cause when you whine, you tend to get what you wanted. and i can't seem to get rid of this habit which is irritating to me. and i have to keep reminding myself not to whine but before i can do so, i already finished whining. HAHA.
but still i am a superwoman. ^^
okay conclusion of this post:
LEE JIA LE is not a weak girl. she is going to grow and become a successful and independent career woman in the future. :) you shall see. that is my aim. ^^
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