why do i have to become an undergraduate? i know it is oh-so-proud to have a degree and certainly brings much to the family since you want something like an undergraduate in every family. but please don't stress me out. my results haven't been good for the past sems. i know that myself. i don't even think i qualify for any of the local universities. i want to go work after poly and earn experiences. i don't think i can go on to university. i know it's a shocking for you since you have pining your hopes on me. sorry for not going to JC in the first place alright. sorry for not wanting to go JC cause i feel like i cannot handle the stress there. i know it's stressful in poly as well with all the competitions. but at least the lecturers don't push you to the wall. i'm grateful for that. can i not be an undergraduate? i know it disappoints you but i am so sick and tired of all these. all the aunties and uncles saying 'don't worry i am sure jiale will become an undergraduate and get a degree.' and they have no freaking idea how much stress it's giving me. don't make it absolute. don't make my mum and dad pine their hopes on me. i am not strong enough to handle with their disappointments, esp my mum's. you are not the one letting them down. i am. so stop talking with that tone and using those words. since young, you have been advising my mum on what to advise me. i went to the secondary school you chose for me. i went to the polytechnic you chose for me. so, i am already 18, can i finally lead my own life now? don't make me hate you. don't make my mum disappointed. i know i used the irritated tone on her just now. but i just wanted to let her know and don't put all her hopes on me. i love her alot and that is why i don't want to make her disappointed. what do you know? stop instilling those thoughts into her. so what if your son/daughter got into an university. so what if my previous results were so much better? it doesn't mean that i would become an undergraduate. i am not them. i am not like them. i know that universities are great, getting a degree is wonderful, undergraduates are fantastic. but it differs for different people. argh. can we just let nature takes its course? i would get into university IF i can. but please, i don't want to be carrying any hopes and wishes. i tried to make my own secondary school choice, but no one would let me. i tried to make my own polytechnic choice, my mum cried like hell cause of your influence. now, i want to make decisions for my own life. please. the 'guides' and 'advices' can stop. i am old enough, even if i am still young in your eyes. i have been through much which you cannot even imagine, i know i am strong enough to handle my own life. please don't, please stop. all these sucks. please keep your opinions and advices to yourself. this is MY life. i am HER daughter, not YOURS.
ARGH. just need to rant. not like me writing here is going to get any of their attention and stop any of them. argh. ://
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