`245th post

argh seriously i think im freaking pathetic.
and all these boils down to a word 'money'.
money is indeed the root of all evil.
argh if only we din have to annoy ourselves with this troublesome word.
but smhow its the most impt thing in this world.
even though ppl might say love or happiness or wadever else is more impt.
i used to insist on this stand as well.
cuz my dad always tell me money is impt.
but i came to realise, without money, you would be troubled with financial issues.
this would lead us to be UNhappy.
and also lead us to be LESS understanding towards each other thus LESS love.
okies i will no longer say money is not impt.
everything is interlinked.
haven you understand?
arghhhhhh.
for example.
today.
i regretted buying this freaking pasta for 5bucks which is totally not nice and i swear its cost price is only like 1plus okies.
hello its minced meat and sausages and some spaghetti.
i was shocked at the serving itself.
i finished it nevertheless, telling myself not to waste any of the minimum amount of money i have left.
i saw this freaking waffle sign while i was eating which made me regret EVEN more.
cuz its MUCH MUCH cheaper.
and MUCH MUCH MORE appetising to me.
and it made me feel like eating it.
BUT i wasnt hungry.
stella and candy even offered to treat me.
but i din want to.
cuz i noe i was just being greedy.
limjiahao went to buy it.
and before dat he bot dessert for me, worrying dat my pasta wasnt enough.
argh.
i hate spending ppl's money.
he doesnt have much money himself too.
argh.
i feel so freaking useless.
i dun want to work.
yet i want money.
why am i so impractical?
okies its NOT dat i dun want to work.
but i just want to work smwhere which im comfortable with.
just comfortable.
and its not dat my family is so freaking poor dat they cant afford to pay for my anything.
its just dat i dun like to ask money from my parents.
i feel so awkward.
its like asking for smthing dat i shldnt ask for.
and im the one who spend the most in my family.
school already costs a huge sum of money.
smtimes i really regret going to poly just cuz it costs much much more expensive.
it seems like i have only been considering myself and myself only.
just cuz i din like jc.
and dad always supported my decision of going poly.
im really a selfish girl rite?
and all i can do is to study really hard and get into university and earn lots in the future to provide for them.
yes i would still want to move out.
but i would provide for them nevertheless.
still go back and visit.
less meetings = less conflicts.
wad i would like to achieve.
argh feel so pathetic without money.
i have to take bus wherever i go.
cuz i dun want to ask for money to top up my card to take mrt when my bus concession costs 50bucks per month.
which is freaking ALOT to me.
and i made this very mafan for clara about where to meet first and everything.
sorry dear bubble.
and thanks for being so understanding.
i lublub you. :DD
ARGH.
stop thinking about money.
I HATE MONEY.
HATE THIS PRACTICAL WORLD.
HATE THIS MATERIALISTIC WORLD.
why cant everyone be kind?
and nice?
smtimes i feel so pressurised just to smile at a stranger.
i just want to be nice and friendly.
if smiling at a stranger can make him/her feel happier, i seriously dun mind.
smtimes when im walking along a path and i see ppl walking the opp direction i feel like smiling at them cuz im happy.
but i dun dare.
maybe i shld just try smiling.
smile more. :))
okies had a happy day.
shldnt let anything spoil the mood. :))
blog properly again nxt time.
tata ppl.
nites nites. :))