`220th post

theres smthng dat i feel.
argh i dunoe wad isit.
theres smthng wrong with my body.
argh my menses have been late for a week.
argh i hate i hate i hate.
i cant but feel theres smthng wrong with me.
my menses have been coming late for the past few months but not THIS late.
freak my body freak myself freak my everything.
and up till now i still haven got myself to study yet.
WTH WTH WTH.
and im still thinking of going out everyday.
CRAP MYSELF GO AND DIE.
wth wth wth.
i dunoe wad am i thinking.
i dun understand myself.
and i dunoe wad my body is doing.
isit too stressed up or wad?
i noe my freaking body is going haywire oh wth.
my eye is not healing oh wth.
doc say i have to cut my eye if it doesnt heal in one week.
thank god i dun have to cut it today.
my tears were already forming in my eyes.
wth.
i was damn freaking scared.
and now my freaking body is damn freaking out of control.
menses faster come can anot?
FREAK LAHHHHHHHH.
is there smthng wrong with my hormonal changes OR WAD!?
ppl dun freak out when their menses come late i noe but i do okies.
CUZ IT IS DEFINITELY NOT NORMAL FOR ME!!
my menses come regularly OKIES.
WTH WTH WTH.
wads wrong with my body?
argh i hate it.
i hate being in this world.
i hate worrying abt this and that.
maybe i shld just go and die.
ohh wth wth wth why did everything have to happen!?
i cant tell but ohh freak why does this have to happen!?
and you are not of any help at all!!
you are supposed to be the one giving me courage and everything.
why am i the one giving all these instead!?
i feel so freaking freaking weak inside.
I HATE FEELING SO VULNERABLE!
I HATE THIS FREAKING FEELING!
ARGH ARGH ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
why do i have to act ohh-so-strong when i feel so freaking weak!?
i dun even actually noe wad to do.
i just hope this matter gets over and done with ASAP.
WHY CAN YOU JUST CRY WHEN I DUN EVEN DARE TO SHED A FREAKING TEAR IN FRNT OF YOU!?
why am i acting so strong just to let you lean on!?
im not a strong man okies.
im just a freaking frail girl.
wth.
i feel like crying.
sobbing and moping all over the place.
but i know it wun help.
maybe it will make me feel better.
but it wun help a single bit.
i hate this.
I HATE THIS.