`89th post

sianz sianz now.
hmmmmmmmmmm..
ytd aft work went to eat supper wif xueli and huiyi.
den tok alot.
and they got to noe abt my past.
hahahahahahahax.
okies..
its a tiring day of work.
cuz i kp runnin here and there.
hahahahahahahax.
they aso say i kelian.
okies suan le suan le.
hahahahahax.
went hm and watched tv.
slept at arnd 2am.
woke up at arnd 750am.
wahhh siaoz.
den boyboy gang hao msg me when i juz wake up.
den replied him and sms for awhile den he go back slp.
den i went to read magazines.
hahahahahahahax.
not meeting cuz hes feeling unwell.
since last nite.
den i rushed to work today.
start at 10am.
den i dunoe why i miscalculated the time and tot i can leave hse at 9.45am.. -_-
when i nd at least 30mins to reach there.
den i still tinking dat when i leave at 9.45am i still got 45mins to go there.
hahahahahahahahax.
im stupid.
worked until 3plus.
i was the last one.
so din want to do packing.
lucky mrs png ask if i can stay or if i have smthng on.
if she only ask if i can stay i sure say can.
hahahahahahahahax.
she ask likedat den i ask if i can leave.
and she said okies so yayyyy.
i dun wan to be there alone with her and mr png.. T.T
so ke pa..
went hm and watched tv.
one of our hamsters died..
haiz the cuter and smaller one.. :((
the bigger one bit it to death.. T.T
so kelian..
jiamin say is cuz qiqi nv feed den the big one feel hungry jiu go eat the small one until it died.. T.T
den i say qiqi she still dare rebutt den in the end quarrel.. ://
smtimes i reallie dun like qiqi. ://
she very wad.
very act in frnt of other ppl.
canot stand her 嘴脸..
since young jiu likedat liaoz.
in frnt of adults she will act guai guai likedat.
den in frnt of her friends she will act like she very 大牌..
damn erxin.
wth.
den we say her canot she say us jiu can.
and diedie aso wun admit her mistakes.
when find out shes at fault liaoz she jiu give dat kind of face.
dat kind see liaoz jiu wan to slap de face.
now i understand why weilong hate her so much.
i noe jiamin understand wad im toking abt.
okies dun wan say liaoz.
i shld understand.
shld understand dat actuallie everyone do act?
its juz how obvious it is or to wad extent.
im trying hard not to act too.
trying hard to be honest to myself and everyone else.
its hard.
seriously hard.
dats why i kp a diary.
where i will be the most truthful and honest to myself.
and den i will start to understand myself. :))
haiz i reallie wan to noe..
this world is practical.
everyone has both gd and bad sides.
usuallie the bad side is kept within themselves.
only they themselves can truly see the reallie bad side.
most ppl show their gd sides.
cuz they wan to be liked by all the ppl arnd them.
in a point of view this may be acting.
suppressing their bad side.
but not reallie ba.
i dunoe if you understand wad im tokin abt but..
i dunoe..
this is juz wad i feel..
hahahahahahahahahahahahax.
hmmmmmmmmmmm..
saw smthng and started wondering.
and the more i wonder the more i start to hate myself.
cuz i wan to stop wondering.
cuz all the wonderings are hurting me.
i juz feel sadder and sadder with all those wonderings.
to dat smone who wrote dat and most probably dunoe im toking abt him/her:
are you toking abt who i tink you are toking abt?
and wad makes you say dat?
i reallie want to noe.. ://
haiz..
im one stupid and contradicting girl ehh..
haiz haiz haiz.
sianz ahhhhhhhhhh!!
://///////////////////
im still fretting over wad dat someone wrote.
haiz haiz haiz.
i ownself go see ownself find trouble ownself sad SOOOOO stupid.
i dun even noe if he/she is a gd person anot..
cuz some thngs he/she said made me quite uncomfortable and i reallie dunoe wad to say.. ://
haiz haiz haiz.
and its like the thngs he/she did make me feel like shes contradicting himself/herself.
i reallie reallie dun understand.
but why am i pondering over all these qns dat i will nv get any answers to?
im juz a stupid girl.
damn stupid girl.
i hate myself.