`15th post

juz bathed..
using a different colour cuz im feeling kinda emo.
not so hyper..
:)
but im still okies.
wanted to blog b4 i go tidy my stuffs.
tot abt alot of stuffs while bathing..
had a new perspective of life.
a weird one though.
hahax.
feel dat i can let go alot of thngs.
mostly from the past.
like the soft toys i got from hh.
maybe i will juz sell them at flea market or smthng..
i hope you dun mind.
cuz i reallie have alot from you..
i dun wan to hide le.
ani emotions or wadsoever.
cuz its reallie tiring.
dun ppl feel tiring bottling up all their emotions?
the hh im refering to here is my ex.
smone i reallie reallie loved.
notice its in past tense.
:)
im okies now toking abt him.
and im quite sure hes okies now toking abt me.
we are purely frens.
i hope..
unless he minds being my fren.
:)
he was a great guy.
and reallie sweet and everythng.
i guess thngs juz doesnt work out the way we wanted to.
so its okies.
though it might sound reallie not like me not wanting these stuffs but i reallie dun wan them animore.
since im dat kinda sentimental gurl who refuses to throw away the pair of slippers she long grown out off juz cuz she has feelings for it.
hahax.
i love xinxing and xiaoxi.
the first two 'tokens of love'.
i love xinxing more though.
hahax.
more memories.
as you give me more and more soft toys there are less and less memories wif the each of them and slowly we dun reallie care abt them..
when we only had xinxing we used to exchange to let her stay wif either of us.
rmb?
hahax.
even aft xiaoxi comes along we continued exchangin.
until the rest of the soft toys.
hahax.
maybe i will juz kp xinxing and xiaoxi?
i dunoe.
but i wan to clear all these stuffs le.
im not being un-sentimental.
but im being practical.
cuz reallie..
im not going to even take a look at them even if i kp them wif me..
so wads the point?
juz like i used to insist keeping all the msges you sent me.
until my inbox had no more space and i realised i nv did reallie went to look back wad exactly did you send me..
:)
its okies if you throw away everythng dat i gave you.
hahax.
i reallie put in all my heart to do them.
i swear.
hahax.
and its enuf to noe dat you treasured them when you loved me.
you dun have to treasure them now.
hahax.
its okies to throw them away now.
:)


anson..
although it reallie din feel like it but you r my ex now i suppose.
hahax.
everyone will rmb me as your ex liaoz.
hahax.
i reallie reallie did like u.
i dun wan to put 'i tink'.
hahahax.
at the start ba.
its cuz of you dat i learnt dat i actuallie have the ability to like smone else.
:)
thanks.
but i guess its not enuf for us to stay tgthr since we are both unsure.
the smtimes part hurts abit.
hahax.
i noe you understand wad i wan to say.
i reallie felt xingfu cuz of you.
:)


someone..
i guess some of you noes who im refering to ba.
but i dun wan to say who.
sorry i set the one year thng.
cuz im unsure how i feel towards you yet.
i wan to be very certain dat i like you first.
dats why the one year thng.
it seems like im a very selfish person.
i read her blog..
and to me it feels like she still likes you..
i dunoe..
den i will feel like im a third party..
:/


why cant everyone juz say out loud how they feel?
i complain but i tink i noe the reason..
ppl dun say for the fear of getting hurt.
like why is crushes owaes kept in secret?
cuz we are afraid of getting hurt caused by the rejections dat we MIGHT face.
but why?
why fear of getting hurt by the unknowns?
why dun we juz try?
at least try doesnt make us regret anithng..
yar yar i noe.
its easy typing all these out and hard to act all.
if ppl dun hide then there wun be deceptions and suspicions all those.
do ppl reallie work for their own selfish gains?
i hope not..
i still hope for a kind and peaceful world which is surrounded by love and care.
maybe smtimes ppl dun say for fear of hurting others?
or offending them?
but wad comes aft hurting or offending them?
they hurting or offending us?
den isnt the conclusion us afraid of getting hurt again?
tell the truth..
tell me the truth..
i wan to noe how are you feeling..
好吗？
i wan to noe cuz i care.
dun hide from me.
i can be a great listening ear and i noe when to kp my mouth shut.
i juz hope you can trust me.
hahax.
:)
talk to me aniwhere anitime i dun mind.
im owaes here to share ur troubles.
no matter who you are.
dun mind abt looking for me.
:)
take care all..