i'm such a weird person.

i am impatient, but i expect you to be patient.
i am bad-tempered, but i expect you to be good-natured.

i am a living contradiction.
reason why i hate myself sometimes.
i dun even understand myself, but i expect people to understand me.
people think they understand me, but do they really?
i want you to go, but i want you to stay.
am i really that complicated?
something throbs inside so painfully, but yet i plastered it up with the best smile.

is everyone like this?
you want something, but you hide it not wanting people to find out. on the other hand, you hide it in the most obv corners hoping that someone would somehow find it.
such contradictions is so contradicting.

i guess the only explanation i can give is that i have two sides - rational jiale and emotional jiale.
okay using simpler terms, my heart and my brain.
my brain often makes the most rational decision, which contradicts with what my heart feels.
my first answer is always my rational decision, and then i change my mind according to what my heart wants.
and then my brain fights back, proving that the rational decision is the right answer.
and my heart fought back as well.
these made me a fickle-minded person.

jiale ah jiale.
why did you make a choice which you know you will never overcome in your entire life?
your brain thinks that it's the best decision. but what about your heart?
have you ever considered how it is feeling right now?
is this called being selfish?
i hate it when you are being like this.
forever running after everything the moment right after you let go of it.
why so silly?
why let go in the first place if you are gonna run after it?
李佳乐！你这个傻女人！