I don't know what I am feeling recently..
probably a little despondent..
maybe more than a little.
a feeling of giving up is nagging at me.
I have been trying to ignore it for the longest time ever.
people have been asking me what do I want to do.
and I think my answer will really disappoint them.
because my answer is, 'nothing'.
there is nothing I want to do, and all I really want to do is nothing.
I don't exactly have a goal or aim.
I don't exactly know what I can do and what I am capable of.
I don't know how to fledge my strength to its maximum capacity.
Though again, perhaps I do know.
I do know what I want to do.
it's just that I am so tired.
I don't even know what I am tired of.
I just wanna take a very very long break from life, from everybody.
I need to grasp hold of my life and I don't know where to start.
yes, I need to start something. I need to start doing something.
I think I need a life somewhere where there's only me.
I want to stay alone for a little while, away from everyone.
I need to recharge somewhere I don't feel the need to entertain somebody, where I don't have to care about the feelings of somebody else.

Quarter-life crisis?

So many things have changed, yet so many haven't.
I am still here, still alive, still surviving.
Everyday has been a sort of struggle.
The struggle to wake up from bed, the struggle of not having a goal.
I always thought that graduating meant I would definitely find a fabulous job which I love doing and start a brand new life.
But I guess things are not always how you want them to be.
I know I am not working hard enough, I need to buck up, but I don't know which direction I should work hard towards.
Life is a chore at this moment for me.