hmm there is this weird insecure feeling bugging me and i cant very well define it. :/
need to be more confident in my own skin.
i need to act more, act as if im confident.
it actually helps me feel confident from the bottom of my heart y' know.
such that i can smile while listening to songs and bob my head along to the melody even when i am alone.
and that i can imagine all kinds of wonderful things in my head and talk to myself and smile widely regardless of who is watching.
such that i can even giggle to myself, and sing aloud but not too loud such that it bothers others but just loud enough for myself to enjoy.
and sometimes while walking home, i even open my arms wide to embrace the good weather and beautiful sky and clouds waving at me. hehe.
crazy? no!
this is jiale's way of being positive!! :D
well well well there were millions of happy things that happened to me the past few months!! and i have so many overdued pictures in my camera/phone that idk where to begin~~~ let me sort them out and you have a picture-filled super duper long post to read okay!! :D:D:D:D
Saturday, July 07, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
i feel so loved.
by all the people around me.
even though some pisses me off endlessly but yet, i still feel so loved.
i shld feel loved.
i should.
i deserve the loves kekeke.
i feel a little more like me once more.
the positive and happy me.
kekeke going out with yi and clara tonight makes me happy :)
even chatting with xueli at the bus stop and complaining about the heat tgthr makes me happy :)
meeting tay tml morning despite me only have about 2 hours of sleep left makes me happy :)
going out with guowei to shopshop makes me happy :)
there are still endless people who makes me happy whom i have yet to meet and catch up with :)
all the lovely people around me incl my family :)
feel the gratefulness from within me and i shall be happy :)
time for bed.
goodnight my lovely people <3
by all the people around me.
even though some pisses me off endlessly but yet, i still feel so loved.
i shld feel loved.
i should.
i deserve the loves kekeke.
i feel a little more like me once more.
the positive and happy me.
kekeke going out with yi and clara tonight makes me happy :)
even chatting with xueli at the bus stop and complaining about the heat tgthr makes me happy :)
meeting tay tml morning despite me only have about 2 hours of sleep left makes me happy :)
going out with guowei to shopshop makes me happy :)
there are still endless people who makes me happy whom i have yet to meet and catch up with :)
all the lovely people around me incl my family :)
feel the gratefulness from within me and i shall be happy :)
time for bed.
goodnight my lovely people <3
Happy 500th Day To My Dearest!!
hi baby,
so many days has passed and isn't all these quite unbelievable? keke.
like you said, i'm the sun wu kong to your five fingers mountain and even though i am stuck under it for 500 'years' i am unwilling to leave because of the warmth and love that the mountain (you) has been giving me. <3
i have been and still am so much so grateful to you, in so many different ways.
thank you for loving me as i am, including all my weaknesses and strengths.
thank you for recognising me as a wonderful person no matter what.
you have been such a strong pillar of mine that even i myself cant believe it. :)
anddd this will be getting kind of mushy but...
i love the way you hug me and how you would hold my head to fit the space at your shoulder and neck.
and i love how you would then stroke my back like everything would be okay no matter what.
i love how we would be waiting for the traffic lights and your arm would be around my shoulder and how you would kiss my forehead cause we just seem to be the perfect height for this.
i love how you would hug me from the back when you woke up first and i could feel it while being half-asleep.
there is just so much love and perfection which i could feel that i wouldn't want it to ever stop.
we may be imperfect but yet we are perfect together.
it's like how you felt that we are suitable together.
i love you and you know that. :)
let's spend many more 500days tgthr.
<3, my dearest.
so many days has passed and isn't all these quite unbelievable? keke.
like you said, i'm the sun wu kong to your five fingers mountain and even though i am stuck under it for 500 'years' i am unwilling to leave because of the warmth and love that the mountain (you) has been giving me. <3
i have been and still am so much so grateful to you, in so many different ways.
thank you for loving me as i am, including all my weaknesses and strengths.
thank you for recognising me as a wonderful person no matter what.
you have been such a strong pillar of mine that even i myself cant believe it. :)
anddd this will be getting kind of mushy but...
i love the way you hug me and how you would hold my head to fit the space at your shoulder and neck.
and i love how you would then stroke my back like everything would be okay no matter what.
i love how we would be waiting for the traffic lights and your arm would be around my shoulder and how you would kiss my forehead cause we just seem to be the perfect height for this.
i love how you would hug me from the back when you woke up first and i could feel it while being half-asleep.
there is just so much love and perfection which i could feel that i wouldn't want it to ever stop.
we may be imperfect but yet we are perfect together.
it's like how you felt that we are suitable together.
i love you and you know that. :)
let's spend many more 500days tgthr.
<3, my dearest.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
okay so now i have been nua-ing at home basically watching running man for the past four days......
it really does seem longer than four days though.
i have been feeling rather lethargic and sleepy despite nua-ing so much. or perhaps it's because that i have been nua-ing so much that i dun exactly feel like moving much.
the hot hot hot weather is also a big problem. hahahah.
having bridging lessons so most of my wkday nights are taken as well as saturday afternoons :(
have been dying for school to start before it actually started, but now that it did, i dun exactly feel like studying for it. :( sigh probably wait till i catch up with running man and have nothing else to do. hahaha. and for the weather to turn a little bit cooler.
honghong is here too so stomach is feeling weird D:
only thing that i am currently looking forward to is the xlb buffet that im going to eat on 1july YAYY.
but there are still two weeks ahead of me. hahaha.
ohh and btw HAPPY FATHERS' DAY TO EVERY FATHER OUT THERE!! :D:D
wished my own dad too and he was happy and gave me a hug HAHAHA retarded it was just a wish though.
not much celebrations or practically none at all as usual cause he dislikes us wasting the money and effort and as he always says, the best presents are for us to be obedient little girls. hahahaha.
mundane life nowadays so even when people talk to me, i dun have much to reply or talk about.
becoming a rather quiet girl. hahaha. rather than i have nothing to say, it's more of i don't know what to talk about. there is nothing much for me to talk about honestly. hahaha.
i should probably get out of this mundane life soon. but wait for awhile i just want to nua around somemore to compensate for working so hard for the past 9 months. hehh.
don't even feel like going out anymore :(
need another goal in my life. a new goal.
it really does seem longer than four days though.
i have been feeling rather lethargic and sleepy despite nua-ing so much. or perhaps it's because that i have been nua-ing so much that i dun exactly feel like moving much.
the hot hot hot weather is also a big problem. hahahah.
having bridging lessons so most of my wkday nights are taken as well as saturday afternoons :(
have been dying for school to start before it actually started, but now that it did, i dun exactly feel like studying for it. :( sigh probably wait till i catch up with running man and have nothing else to do. hahaha. and for the weather to turn a little bit cooler.
honghong is here too so stomach is feeling weird D:
only thing that i am currently looking forward to is the xlb buffet that im going to eat on 1july YAYY.
but there are still two weeks ahead of me. hahaha.
ohh and btw HAPPY FATHERS' DAY TO EVERY FATHER OUT THERE!! :D:D
wished my own dad too and he was happy and gave me a hug HAHAHA retarded it was just a wish though.
not much celebrations or practically none at all as usual cause he dislikes us wasting the money and effort and as he always says, the best presents are for us to be obedient little girls. hahahaha.
mundane life nowadays so even when people talk to me, i dun have much to reply or talk about.
becoming a rather quiet girl. hahaha. rather than i have nothing to say, it's more of i don't know what to talk about. there is nothing much for me to talk about honestly. hahaha.
i should probably get out of this mundane life soon. but wait for awhile i just want to nua around somemore to compensate for working so hard for the past 9 months. hehh.
don't even feel like going out anymore :(
need another goal in my life. a new goal.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
my shanghai peeper
sooo i just watched the ep of running man in china and then i tot of the times i was there (though they were in beijing and i was in shanghai) and i realised i do miss the people there. :(
how i wish i can bring them all over for a visit.
i miss lisa and rita who actually emailed me and they must be busy with their work cause they reply rather slowly hahahaha. and lisa said smthing which made me feel so damn touched. she told me that she was sure that my future will be bright and she felt that i'm a girl who has a lot of thinking as compared to those of my age. :') it made me soooo touched. and rita telling me that she has been missing me just broke my heart.
sdnly i wonder how wangxiaojing my dear nancy is doing. she wanted to come over to sg to study i know that and how i wish i could ask her to come over and then she could learn english and thus become the translator she has dreamed of.
and our huahua is she working with rita now? but rita only told me about vanessa sigh.
and then i wonder about our xiaolu if he has alr forgotten huahua. and if he is still okay without me, the only person he really confided in. :(
sigh sdnly i could hear all their voices ringing in my head chatting happily with me. omg am i gonna tear right now? :(
this missing just came so sudden idk how to deal with it.
and listening to the chinaman in my office talk and he sounds so much like simon. simon who is sooooo nice to us and would always think in our shoes and who always ask sheepishly if we could help him with the english. then i would think of daniel and tina. daniel who always talks rubbish with me but yet is someone who i can share my ideals with. and tina who would confide in me cause she is always stuck in between the top management and staff. :(
and then i think of jason and anson who would take on the most jobs and even aft they scolded us they would show how much they truly care for us.
and then leetingting leeahyi how she would excitedly call out to me whenever she sees me and fancy who teng us and would bring us do retarded stuffs hahaha and emma who would always hold my hand and bring me everywhere and ahfu who is always so retarded and luobotou who is so annoying and forever teasing me hahahahaha. and also yaodapeng, niurui and peilidong!!! the three banquet musketeers and everytime i cry for help they appear like heroes and settle everything :')
sdnly i miss them all. so much.
i wonder if leeahyi or emma is getting married. and i wonder if tina alr found a job aft quitting hers in shcp. wonder if daniel is still staying there. wonder if simon is coping well being Windows' manager.
though it's not the place i miss, but it's this lovely ppl who brought me all these memories. perhaps it's not me wondering about how they are doing, but me worrying as none of them seems to be in a good shape before i left. :( i hope all of you are doing well.
我好想你们哦！
how i wish i can bring them all over for a visit.
i miss lisa and rita who actually emailed me and they must be busy with their work cause they reply rather slowly hahahaha. and lisa said smthing which made me feel so damn touched. she told me that she was sure that my future will be bright and she felt that i'm a girl who has a lot of thinking as compared to those of my age. :') it made me soooo touched. and rita telling me that she has been missing me just broke my heart.
sdnly i wonder how wangxiaojing my dear nancy is doing. she wanted to come over to sg to study i know that and how i wish i could ask her to come over and then she could learn english and thus become the translator she has dreamed of.
and our huahua is she working with rita now? but rita only told me about vanessa sigh.
and then i wonder about our xiaolu if he has alr forgotten huahua. and if he is still okay without me, the only person he really confided in. :(
sigh sdnly i could hear all their voices ringing in my head chatting happily with me. omg am i gonna tear right now? :(
this missing just came so sudden idk how to deal with it.
and listening to the chinaman in my office talk and he sounds so much like simon. simon who is sooooo nice to us and would always think in our shoes and who always ask sheepishly if we could help him with the english. then i would think of daniel and tina. daniel who always talks rubbish with me but yet is someone who i can share my ideals with. and tina who would confide in me cause she is always stuck in between the top management and staff. :(
and then i think of jason and anson who would take on the most jobs and even aft they scolded us they would show how much they truly care for us.
and then leetingting leeahyi how she would excitedly call out to me whenever she sees me and fancy who teng us and would bring us do retarded stuffs hahaha and emma who would always hold my hand and bring me everywhere and ahfu who is always so retarded and luobotou who is so annoying and forever teasing me hahahahaha. and also yaodapeng, niurui and peilidong!!! the three banquet musketeers and everytime i cry for help they appear like heroes and settle everything :')
sdnly i miss them all. so much.
i wonder if leeahyi or emma is getting married. and i wonder if tina alr found a job aft quitting hers in shcp. wonder if daniel is still staying there. wonder if simon is coping well being Windows' manager.
though it's not the place i miss, but it's this lovely ppl who brought me all these memories. perhaps it's not me wondering about how they are doing, but me worrying as none of them seems to be in a good shape before i left. :( i hope all of you are doing well.
我好想你们哦！
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
hi there are tons of stuffs which i wanna blog about HAHAHA and all the pics in my cam/phone omg damn outdated alr HAHAHA.
so be prepared for my flooding of posts when i end my work aft 13june okay! HEHEHE.
nowadays the weather is such a killerrrr. everyone take care and drink galleons of water okay! <3
i love everyone TEEHEE.
and happy belated mothers' day to all!! kekeke.
BE BACK SOON! <3
CLICK HERE FOR MY FORMSPRING REPLY
so be prepared for my flooding of posts when i end my work aft 13june okay! HEHEHE.
nowadays the weather is such a killerrrr. everyone take care and drink galleons of water okay! <3
i love everyone TEEHEE.
and happy belated mothers' day to all!! kekeke.
BE BACK SOON! <3
CLICK HERE FOR MY FORMSPRING REPLY
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
FORMSPRING REPLY
blogger button on formspring disappeared. -_-
wrote to formspring support and hope they get it done asap......
LINK TO MY FORMSPRING REPLY TO NA ZAI IF IM NOT WRONG :D
wrote to formspring support and hope they get it done asap......
LINK TO MY FORMSPRING REPLY TO NA ZAI IF IM NOT WRONG :D
Sunday, May 06, 2012
i just don't know anymore..
Smtimes i feel like you find me not worth the effort anymore. Not worth spending the time on anymore. Perhaps it's true that they say aft the first year it's the hardest. I just dun wanna admit it. Im not gonna bow down at it. But smtimes i wonder, if i stop and fail, would you continue trying? Deep down inside i know you will stop, you will just excuse yourself and pretend that nothing happen like always. And then i will be left crying alone like the broken pieces only belong to me. So now i tear for all the fear inside of me. Just gonna be a weakling for one more night. Im gonna shut the doors now, any last words to stop me from doing so? If not, be prepared to scale the high walls of thorns.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
so i'm now officially 20,
and many have celebrated my bday with me. <3
and i'm gonna celebrate it again with sebas tml hahaha.
but i never felt like i was actually celebrating my bday? just no feel okay. no feel.
i actually missed those times when i celebrate at my ahma hse with the aunties giving me angpaos.
or times when i celebrate at home happily instead of like RUSHING to blow candles and cut cake before 12mn reaches cause everyone went out during the day and i have to WAIT for everyone to arrive home.
sucks big time...... i wanna cry sdnly........
actually i hate it so much that people ask me to plan? ask me to decide?
i know it's my bday and i'm supposed to like choose what i'd like to do.
BUT HELLOOOO, it's my bday and you want me to stress about what to do???
i prefer it to be like 'okay jiale you just need to go according to our plan' and i still enjoy my day all the same.
it doesn't have to be like complicated????
it can be just like planning where to eat (I GOT SO PICKY MEH? ANYWHERE AS LONG AS THE FOOD IS GOOD LAH FUCK okay kind of pissed lol) and catching a movie (ANY MOVIE LAH AS LONG AS I NEVER WATCH BEFORE CAN LIAO LOH VERY DIFFICULT TO PLAN MEH).
because i am someone who hates trouble.
so why you wanna give me trouble by asking me to plan and then i have to coordinate with everyone else cause im the one planning ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY.
okay i am not complaining about this year's bday celebrations but it's just something that accumulated sorry that i have to scream here because i JUST FUCKING NEED TO WALAO EH.
i absolutely hate to plan but people just LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to ask me to plan.
EVERYTHING ALSO 'YOU PLAN LOH YOU ASK LOH' WHATTT i look like a fucking organizer to you or what? i also dun open an events company right. -_-
if you ask me if i wanna go out, dun come and tell me 'up to you i anything de' then i also can reply you the same thing what. -_-
YOU are the one who wanna go out. IF I ASK YOU OUT THEN I PLAN LAH. fair fair??????
not just saying one particular person but im currently shooting THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.
lazy then dun go out loh. want go out then say you want to go where. just wanna go somewhere then just go sleep okay. dun come bother and irritate others. thanks ah thanks.
but thank god that for you guys.......
just dun come irritate me more or you will hate me. like seriously.
seldom people see me being really angry.
arguing/complaining/keeping silent is not the REAL ANGRY ME.
wait till you see me scream. NOT EVEN SHOUT OKAY. REALLY SCREAMING THE ANGRY WORDS I WANNA SAY.
tay experienced it once LOL and my family ten million times. okay and the last person who saw me in that hysterical mode before would be my first.
SOOOOOOOO you haven seen the real scary jiale yet. hahahahaha. thats a bipolar kid for you yo.
OKAYYYY but this is not what i want to talk about how i am officially 20 now. -_-
but more of like about life.
i have a pretty much ruined past which i'm currently trying to compensate for now.
and i'm REALLLLLL glad that i am talking to a friend whose friendship i prev screwed up cause of the main person who caused me to screw up my life.
even up till now, i'm still trying to fix myself.
i'm still trying to make myself not so insecure, to trust more and everything.
i literally force myself to trust. :(
smtimes i give in, give in to temptations and desires and everything that i told myself not to do. and i feel so so so ashamed of myself. nobody knows and nobody understands.
if i tell people, people will think 'if you are so ashamed, then why do it?' but.......... seeee i told you you wun understand, i just dunoe how to put it in words.
i hate how i try scramble around in my vocab to describe how i feel and then i stumble over my words. i feel dumb. extremely dumb. reasons why i prefer writing. cause i can think through how i put my message across without people misunderstanding me.
but if i dun talk, people cant understand. forever a dilemma in my life.
tbh, me hoping for people to praise me and think that im amazing is not even cause that im insecure or have a lack in self-confidence, the very plain and basic reason is that i'm so shameful of myself. i can't even look in the mirror anymore and think that i'm pretty or even just plainly 'i look good'.
all i see about myself is all my flaws.
i think i need to be with people who only see my strengths so that i can pretend i dun have any flaws and be happier.
honestly? i hate people laughing at me. sorry if my ego makes you feel bewildered but hey, that's me.
life's passing wayyy too fast for me to register any memory into my brain and i feel like whatever that is imprinted deeply in my mind are all the hurtful memories from before. :/
i cant even rmb much about the happy ones.
please not let me have any miserable ones anymore. please.
time check: 12.26am and i really ought to go bathe.
goodbye.
and i'm gonna celebrate it again with sebas tml hahaha.
but i never felt like i was actually celebrating my bday? just no feel okay. no feel.
i actually missed those times when i celebrate at my ahma hse with the aunties giving me angpaos.
or times when i celebrate at home happily instead of like RUSHING to blow candles and cut cake before 12mn reaches cause everyone went out during the day and i have to WAIT for everyone to arrive home.
sucks big time...... i wanna cry sdnly........
actually i hate it so much that people ask me to plan? ask me to decide?
i know it's my bday and i'm supposed to like choose what i'd like to do.
BUT HELLOOOO, it's my bday and you want me to stress about what to do???
i prefer it to be like 'okay jiale you just need to go according to our plan' and i still enjoy my day all the same.
it doesn't have to be like complicated????
it can be just like planning where to eat (I GOT SO PICKY MEH? ANYWHERE AS LONG AS THE FOOD IS GOOD LAH FUCK okay kind of pissed lol) and catching a movie (ANY MOVIE LAH AS LONG AS I NEVER WATCH BEFORE CAN LIAO LOH VERY DIFFICULT TO PLAN MEH).
because i am someone who hates trouble.
so why you wanna give me trouble by asking me to plan and then i have to coordinate with everyone else cause im the one planning ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY.
okay i am not complaining about this year's bday celebrations but it's just something that accumulated sorry that i have to scream here because i JUST FUCKING NEED TO WALAO EH.
i absolutely hate to plan but people just LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to ask me to plan.
EVERYTHING ALSO 'YOU PLAN LOH YOU ASK LOH' WHATTT i look like a fucking organizer to you or what? i also dun open an events company right. -_-
if you ask me if i wanna go out, dun come and tell me 'up to you i anything de' then i also can reply you the same thing what. -_-
YOU are the one who wanna go out. IF I ASK YOU OUT THEN I PLAN LAH. fair fair??????
not just saying one particular person but im currently shooting THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.
lazy then dun go out loh. want go out then say you want to go where. just wanna go somewhere then just go sleep okay. dun come bother and irritate others. thanks ah thanks.
but thank god that for you guys.......
RT @XSTROLOGY: #Aries have a short fuse; great thing about that is they will not prolong a fight. They need 30 secs to reset as if nothing ever happened.although my anger comes quickly it goes off as quickly too. thank god for you guys okay.
just dun come irritate me more or you will hate me. like seriously.
seldom people see me being really angry.
arguing/complaining/keeping silent is not the REAL ANGRY ME.
wait till you see me scream. NOT EVEN SHOUT OKAY. REALLY SCREAMING THE ANGRY WORDS I WANNA SAY.
tay experienced it once LOL and my family ten million times. okay and the last person who saw me in that hysterical mode before would be my first.
SOOOOOOOO you haven seen the real scary jiale yet. hahahahaha. thats a bipolar kid for you yo.
OKAYYYY but this is not what i want to talk about how i am officially 20 now. -_-
but more of like about life.
i have a pretty much ruined past which i'm currently trying to compensate for now.
and i'm REALLLLLL glad that i am talking to a friend whose friendship i prev screwed up cause of the main person who caused me to screw up my life.
even up till now, i'm still trying to fix myself.
i'm still trying to make myself not so insecure, to trust more and everything.
i literally force myself to trust. :(
smtimes i give in, give in to temptations and desires and everything that i told myself not to do. and i feel so so so ashamed of myself. nobody knows and nobody understands.
if i tell people, people will think 'if you are so ashamed, then why do it?' but.......... seeee i told you you wun understand, i just dunoe how to put it in words.
i hate how i try scramble around in my vocab to describe how i feel and then i stumble over my words. i feel dumb. extremely dumb. reasons why i prefer writing. cause i can think through how i put my message across without people misunderstanding me.
but if i dun talk, people cant understand. forever a dilemma in my life.
tbh, me hoping for people to praise me and think that im amazing is not even cause that im insecure or have a lack in self-confidence, the very plain and basic reason is that i'm so shameful of myself. i can't even look in the mirror anymore and think that i'm pretty or even just plainly 'i look good'.
all i see about myself is all my flaws.
i think i need to be with people who only see my strengths so that i can pretend i dun have any flaws and be happier.
honestly? i hate people laughing at me. sorry if my ego makes you feel bewildered but hey, that's me.
life's passing wayyy too fast for me to register any memory into my brain and i feel like whatever that is imprinted deeply in my mind are all the hurtful memories from before. :/
i cant even rmb much about the happy ones.
please not let me have any miserable ones anymore. please.
time check: 12.26am and i really ought to go bathe.
goodbye.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
boingboingboing~
HI I AM A PICTURE IN FB NOT A VIRUS LINK SO CLICK ON ME!
GO TAKE A LOOK AT THE PHOTO ABOVE!
it's in chinese though. D:
okay btw i am a UU girl~~~~
translations as follows:
okay i shall stop daydreaming and go batheeeeeee.
TML'S USS DAY :D:D:D
i have been really happy this past week, no matter what. thanks to everyone who played a part in it. i love you guys. <3
GO TAKE A LOOK AT THE PHOTO ABOVE!
it's in chinese though. D:
okay btw i am a UU girl~~~~
translations as follows:
CHARACTER:
A heroine who acts on intuitions, passionate and attractive, will uncontrollably laugh or cry like mad suddenly but it all comes from the heart, thus very likable among friends. Their shopping loots are bought totally based on feelings, and they would still feel like buying something even if it's not practical or if they already have something similar.
LOVE:
Prioritizes love and its purity, their actions are decided by their own psychological thinking and would not consider from the other party or a third party's point of view. if they like that person, they would be happy like a bird for the whole day, and if they suspect that the other party cheats on them, they will cry like there's no tomorrow, BUT THEY HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART EASILY.bold-ed what i want tay to read so that he will be SO SO SO SO afraid of losing me and will grab me and cry and say 'jiale dun leave' HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
okay i shall stop daydreaming and go batheeeeeee.
TML'S USS DAY :D:D:D
i have been really happy this past week, no matter what. thanks to everyone who played a part in it. i love you guys. <3
Friday, April 06, 2012
you're amazing lee jiale! don't let anyone tell you otherwise. we're all amazing in our own ways. making fun of ourselves by being retarded is not a crime or something to look down on! you're more matured and insightful then i've known you'll be! cher
:') thanks beloved cherrrrylll!! <3 you are amazing tooo. feel so loved <3 love you so muchh!! ^^
Monday, April 02, 2012
it's like
Noone ever found me amazing.
It's like to everyone im a retard.
If you really truly think that way, think ten more times if you truly know me.
I merely think differently from everyone else. My ideas are not dumb. Neither am i.
Reasons why i really appreciate the person who said i will become a great lady. Cause noone nv ever said that to me. All everyone says is that im a retard. Im so sorry but it's true. Noone ever said i am a great person with amazing thoughts. Fuck shld i even expect ppl to think this way of me? At the very least i expected you to think that way. I expected that you, out of all those people, would see pass the superficial topmost layer and see the me who is trying to be the best and you would hug me and say im the most amazing person in this world. Because it's you and thats why i expected all these. But yet you are like everyone else, are you? Please tell me you are not and stop these tears from falling. You are the only fucking one who can sway my emotions so fucking much. Hurts so much. This wkend sucks.
It's like to everyone im a retard.
If you really truly think that way, think ten more times if you truly know me.
I merely think differently from everyone else. My ideas are not dumb. Neither am i.
Reasons why i really appreciate the person who said i will become a great lady. Cause noone nv ever said that to me. All everyone says is that im a retard. Im so sorry but it's true. Noone ever said i am a great person with amazing thoughts. Fuck shld i even expect ppl to think this way of me? At the very least i expected you to think that way. I expected that you, out of all those people, would see pass the superficial topmost layer and see the me who is trying to be the best and you would hug me and say im the most amazing person in this world. Because it's you and thats why i expected all these. But yet you are like everyone else, are you? Please tell me you are not and stop these tears from falling. You are the only fucking one who can sway my emotions so fucking much. Hurts so much. This wkend sucks.
everyone can condemn me and my thoughts and ideas, except for you.
is it wrong to have an exceptionally higher expectations from you?
but it's you.
you are not supposed to find me annoying/irritating/stupid/dumb.
you are just not supposed to.
can't you see that i have my mature side too?
can't you see that i am trying my best too?
i just cannot take it that you are seeing me as who everyone is seeing me as too.
i just can't.
you are not supposed to treat me the same way.
you are not.
i wonder how long i can go on taking this.
i wonder.
i know how you feel i know how you think.
i just want you to show it more.
sorry that i'm such a superficial person.
and the very least i can do is to be honest and upfront about it.
reasons why i have idols:
they never hurt me and yet never fail to make me smile.
but fuck they will never be able to replace you.
is it wrong to have an exceptionally higher expectations from you?
but it's you.
you are not supposed to find me annoying/irritating/stupid/dumb.
you are just not supposed to.
can't you see that i have my mature side too?
can't you see that i am trying my best too?
i just cannot take it that you are seeing me as who everyone is seeing me as too.
i just can't.
you are not supposed to treat me the same way.
you are not.
i wonder how long i can go on taking this.
i wonder.
i know how you feel i know how you think.
i just want you to show it more.
sorry that i'm such a superficial person.
and the very least i can do is to be honest and upfront about it.
reasons why i have idols:
they never hurt me and yet never fail to make me smile.
but fuck they will never be able to replace you.
Sunday, April 01, 2012
one whole month since i got back,
many things that i have did since i came back HAHA.
okay for now, i'm working as a temp admin staff at great eastern hehh.
and the contract will end in june keke.
okayyy. so had a chalet and bbq on like 21 mar and 22mar with my girls which i dun have any pics. HAHA.
played bowling too! and i got the lowest score /CRIES
and i can only score with the ugliest pose everrrrr. :(:(
watched hunger games too and okayyy it wasnt too bad but i'm sure the book is so much so better.
will probably read it aft finishing my dan brown's da vinci and the book on emotional intelligence with xiaogu just lent me. hehh.
went bball toooo hehehe miss those times playing bball :')
okayyy soooo here are just spams of pics i'm too lazy to type alr cause it will be such a loooong update hehh.
dinner with the girls on 7march! sorry i'm super lazy to put everything into collages hahahaha.
the first day working at iffs kekekekeke.
great icecream i loikeeeee!! ^^
hehe one month after our anniversary~~ ^^
felt super loved aft reading your organizer you dun even know hehe <3
and i loved the dinner! despite you are the one who ate most of the lobster HAHA.
i love youu! ^^
one day when we went to sing k. HAHA forever retarded us. and the super camwhore us says hi to everyone~~~
camwhored one day aft work. sorry i just felt the need to post all the photos i have right now HAHA. too lazy to sort them outttt.
hehe my current fave dress ^^ and the noodles i bought from the auntie whom i made friends with at maxwell. heh hehh.
and LOOK AT THE FIRST PIC!! it is taken in my office's toilet and we have THAT BIG A WINDOW there. hahahaha. chio view right!?!?
too bad i dun have that kind of view in front of my table. :( sigh.
was literally spamming at the end. and the first photo was what i took to 'threaten' them on WA HAHAHA.
and they said it was scary. scary mehhh. i think i look ohsocute with the chicken wing in my mouth HAHAHAHA.
AND WALAO THE LAST PHOTO PLEASE SPOT CHERYLLLL!!!! FREAKY MAX. D:
arvin's bday celebration!! whoop whoop!
birthday boy took so freaking alot of photos of me thanks ah.
i dun even know until i started putting these photos in my comp....
stay happy and retarded foreverrr!! (it's his bday today~~ happy april fools' day toooo!!)
a lunch with jiejie and xiaogu kekeke.
and a sort of bday celebration for me~~ ^^
look at my bday present!! ^^
sigh i hate aprileven though because it's my bday month.
birthday boy took so freaking alot of photos of me thanks ah.
i dun even know until i started putting these photos in my comp....
stay happy and retarded foreverrr!! (it's his bday today~~ happy april fools' day toooo!!)
a lunch with jiejie and xiaogu kekeke.
and a sort of bday celebration for me~~ ^^
look at my bday present!! ^^
sigh i hate april
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